Daddy Drives Like a Maniac

Hear More of My Thoughts

2011-09-14T10:18:00.001-04:00

I have expanded my venue into yet another blog space. You can check it out on http://50000feet.wordpress.com/

Just more of my thoughts on the world around me.

Who? Me?

2011-03-05T12:41:00.000-05:00

If you're like most readers reading this blog, you are pretty sure the term "Road Rage" means somebody else, right? You're not guilty of irrational, impatient behavior on the road, are you?

Well, maybe that's true. You may be the driving saint that provides an exemplary example of what to do and what not to do on the highway.

In the off chance that there may be a spark of rage hidden somewhere deep inside of you, just waiting to pop out at just the right moment, consider some ways to control your own behavior in traffic. Edmunds.com is a great site for just about anything car related and that includes, surprisingly enough, tips for the road.

What types of aggressive road behavior are you guilty of committing? What can you do about it? What will you do about it?

Road Rage On Foot - Sidewalk Rage

2011-02-28T20:08:00.000-05:00

Just when you've decided to give up driving and start walking to your destination, we see a growing incidence of (would you believe it?) Sidewalk Rage. It seems that not everyone is walking fast enough to suit others on the sidewalk. Some refuse to give the right of way to those walking at a speedier pace. And it doesn't just take place on sidewalk. Apparently grocery stores, airports or just about anyplace you find people moving from one place to another is enough to incite a riot.

Sidewalk ragers behave in much the same way as road ragers. They scowl. They mutter obscenities. They make nasty gestures. In short, they have an anger problem and a bit of a control issue.

How do you rate on the Pedestrian Aggressiveness Syndrome Scale put out by Dr. Leon James? You may find it amusing; you may find it disturbing. You will find it enlightening.

Historical Perspective on Road Rage

2011-02-23T14:00:00.002-05:00

Just when you thought road rage and irrational driving practices were a device of the overpopulated world and highways of the late 20th and early 21st centuries, there comes along a moment of levity to let us know that drivers of the 1940's (take a look at this link!) weren't without their idiosyncrasies. Levity, only in the fact that the idea of anyone actually thinking their position on the road outweighs that of any other occupant of the road is absurd.

Road rage isn't just an act of aggression between the driver of one car and the driver of another car. Aggressive drivers target bicyclists, pedestrians, children playing in playgrounds, you name it. Not surprisingly, a good deal of psychological study has been done on the topic of road rage and what sort of distorted thinking overtakes the mind of someone acting out on the road.

Interestingly enough, one of the major components of psychological behavior, projection, fits quite well into identifying what leads some people towards acts of road rage while others maintain their cool (at least most of the time). Are you capable of road rage? If you think your behavior on the road is simply a reaction to someone else's bad behavior, you may be. The first step in changing behavior is awareness that it exists.

When another 70 years of history have passed by, what do you think will be the cultural equivalent to the drivers of the 1940's poster?

Sometimes the Bad Brings Out the Good

2011-02-22T16:34:00.000-05:00

One of the strange enigmas of life is the way people will react in different situations. Sometimes stress and difficulties can bring out the best in people, instead of the worst. The past two days have seen some pretty treacherous winter weather in many parts of the United States. Actually, many parts of the country could tell quite a few tales of winter despair this year.

This is one of those times where it is heartwarming to see just how much people can come together for the common good. Many people who, on any average day don't even recognize their fellow human beings on the street, will go out of their way to push a car out of a ditch, lend a hand in shoveling snow or otherwise help others as they struggle to deal with threatening weather conditions and obstacles.

Suddenly those other vehicles aren't simply interferences on the highway; they are human beings in need of help. As much as the extremes of winter weather can bring us down, it is good to know that most of us still have a compassionate heart.

Casualties of War

2011-02-20T13:00:00.001-05:00

We often read in the newspapers or watch on the television news reports about the innocent victims of war. How sad, we think, that innocent women, children or other non-hostile individuals must suffer because of the actions and aggressions of those who seek power and control in their little corner of the world. For centuries anti-war protests have begged rational people to consider the consequences of their actions and seek a better way to resolve their differences. Songs have been written and sung to unite people against the tragedies of destructive behavior.

Take a look at the some of the statistics involving innocent victims of road rage incidents. These are not simply isolated incidents either. Men, women, children and entire families suffer because of the actions of out of control individuals behind the wheel.

We are not fighting a war on our highways - or are we? More and more, incidents of anger on the roads are escalating beyond the simple obscene hand gesture and ranting and raving of swear words out the window to acts of aggression involving weapons.

Let's stop and take a look at the act of driving a vehicle for a moment. We are using a modern day convenience to transport ourselves and our family members from point A to point B. We are not transporting nuclear missiles or preparing for a pre-emptive strike against a mortal enemy. There is a big difference in the mission and there is a big difference in the way we should approach the actions involved.

Stop and ask yourself a few questions the next time you get behind the wheel of your car. Take time to think about where you are going and what you are doing. And then ask yourself - What kind of a difference can I make today?

Awareness is the first vital step in making a change.

Is It Safe to Drive?

2011-02-19T08:27:00.002-05:00

Strangely enough (or maybe not, depending on how you look at it), incidents of road rage tend to take place pretty consistently throughout the various times of day. Knowing this, it's a safe bet you should never let down your guard when it comes to protecting and defending yourself on the road.

Equally as interesting when it comes to statistics is the ever changing list of the Top 10 cities for road rage incidents. This list will likely come as a surprise, maybe even a shock, to many people. It's not just major metropolitan areas like New York City or Los Angeles, although they often make their way onto such lists. Some listing of Top Ten cities for road rage include such unlikely spots as Johnson, Arkansas and Springdale, Arkansas. Hmmm, must be something in the water down in Arkansas -- lots of seething rage to vent on the highway.

The point is, you can't just assume that anger on the road occurs somewhere else and that it is someone else's problem. Road rage could come to the highways and byways of your life at any time. We all have something to gain by recognizing the danger and stepping forward to put an end to it.

Humanizing the Face of Road Rage

2011-02-18T16:17:00.002-05:00

One popular theory as to why road rage has reached epidemic proportions in modern society is the theory that there are just too many people in the world today and a staggering number of them will probably get in our way at one point or another. Overcrowding causes stress and makes us want to strike out at the fellow creatures of our species. Studies done on rats have shown that rats can get along just fine up to a point. However, adding just one too many rats to the community can turn a peacefully coexisting community into a den of hostility.

Add to this the fact that humans tend to not view other cars on the road as vehicles that contain other humans, but rather as "things" that are in the way, and the recipe for inhuman, aggressive behavior becomes easier to understand.

Most people would never think of physically abusing someone in a crowded grocery store line, even though tempers may flare and over-crowding may cause high levels of aggravation. Ramming your grocery cart into a little old lady because she is slow is a relatiatory measure that most sane humans would shudder to consider, let alone act upon. Somehow we learn to make allowances for crowding, physical limitations or careless actions.

On the highway, things look differently. Those other machines out there are going too slow, hogging the passing lane, weaving in and out of traffic or are just plain in the way. They are dehumanized objects that must be dealt with.

What if it was your grandmother on the road? What consideration would you want others to show her as she struggles to make her way to her doctor's appointment? What about your young nephew who has only been driving for two weeks? He might make an error in judgment; should be driven off the road because of it?

The highway is occupied by other members of the human race. As Christian theology is always eager to proclaim, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (or your grandmother)."

It Wasn't My Fault!

2011-02-17T16:00:00.001-05:00

Nobody wants to be the victim of a road rage incident. Although, some folks have a little less trouble being the instigators of such behavior - often in the name of "self defense." If you could get inside the head of just about anyone who is committing an act of aggression behind the wheel, you will usually find that they feel justified in their behavior because of the behavior of another driver on the road.

"He was driving too slow because he was texting while driving."

"She was hogging the passing lane and driving below the speed limit."

"He doesn't know where he's going."

On and on it goes. Drivers are staunch when it comes to defending their turf on the highway. And amazingly sensitive to the mere suggestion that they could be at fault - after all, the "other guy" made them do it!

You will never be able to eliminate road rage. But there are ways to help reduce the likelihood that your actions will incite a loose cannon on the road to release his anger in your direction. Take a moment to evaluate your own habits behind the wheel. Are you quick to make aggressive movements with your hands or by use of angry facial gestures? Do you allow distractions to make you a menace on the road? Do you exhibit passive-aggressive driving behavior that could be interpreted as an act of aggression by another driver?

Learn the signs of road rage, both in yourself and in those around you, in an effort to better control the overall driving climate around you. Remember, it's not always the "other guy's" fault.

Driver Intelligence - How Do You Rate?

2011-02-16T13:00:00.002-05:00

Back in the day, when I was learning to drive, I had a professional instructor hired by my parents to teach me "properly." My dad had never earned a reputation for patience under stressful situations and teaching a teenager to drive definitely fell into that category.

The day of my drivers test (which I did pass on the first attempt), my driving instructor took me and another student to the police barracks for our test. This other student was a woman of about 35 years of age, a recent immigrant from somewhere in the Middle East.

One the way to our testing facility the instructor asked each of us questions in an effort to reinforce the verbal portion of the exam as we would be expected to answer the questions asked of us by the testing officer. The other student was confused on the difference between the term "yield" and the term "merge." Of course, the difference here can be critical. At the end of the day, each of us had earned our right to drive along the highways and byways of life with a valid drivers license in our wallets. The other student still did not understand the difference between signs warning to yield or to merge.

She didn't understand - and yet she still had the right to be on the road.

The point is, every driver you encounter on the road of life today will not be an expert driver. They may be inexperienced. They may be very young, or no longer young at all. They may be physically or visually impaired. Their language skills may not be perfect. They may not be the most intelligent person on the road. But they are on the road nonetheless, and they have the right to be there.

Before you pass judgment, consider what you may or may not know about the rules of the road.

Driving is a privilege, not a right. When we share the road, we need to give tolerance just as we have a right to expect tolerance in return.

A Sad Commentary on Road Rage

2011-02-15T15:50:00.002-05:00

Just a little true life story to share on some of the behind the scenes effects of road rage:

A man was dealing with a serious physical condition that had the potential of developing into a life threatening illness. He was the father of two young sons and his major goal in life was to spend as much time with his boys as he could, hoping that if his time with them was cut short by his illness they would have good memories of their father to carry them into adulthood.

One day this man was driving on the highway with the two boys in the back seat. An aggressive driver pulled in front of his vehicle, causing him to swerve in order to avoid an accident. His eight year old son, from the back seat, rolled down his window, shouted an obscenity and made an offensive hand gesture in the direction of the other car.

The man was shocked. "Jimmy, why did you do that?" he asked the boy. "That's not the right way to behave."

"Dad," the boy replied, "I was only doing what I saw you do a couple days ago when another car was driving too close to you."

Needless to say, the man was mortified. "What is the legacy I'm leaving my sons," he wondered. "The thing that made the most impression on them was my own intolerant behavior on the road."

While there is no justification for the original aggressive driving behavior, relatiation only creates two bad drivers on the road. How do you deal with aggressive drivers on the road?

Multi-Tasking Behind the Wheel

2011-02-14T19:45:00.001-05:00

Driving isn't really a task you should be performing simultaneously with other activities; most of us would agree with that statement. And yet, the vast majority of drivers are easily susceptible to distractions on the road. After you've been driving for a number of years the whole process becomes routine and, quite frankly, a little monotonous and boring. It's easy to see why drivers want to multi-task.

The problem with multi-tasking is that, in the event of an unforeseen circumstance on the road, you may not be prepared to react as quickly as you need to. The result of that, of course, is the risk of an accident leading to property damage, physical injury to yourself or others, or worse.

A lot of research has been done on the top driver distractions.

One side effect of distracted driving that many drivers and researchers overlook is that a distracted driver aggravates other drivers. This, in turn, can lead to aggressive behavior (road rage) on the part of those other drivers.

This is not meant to excuse aggressive driving behaviors, nothing could be further from the truth. It is simply meant to say, there are maniacal drivers on the road. Protect yourself. Don't tempt fate. Stay alert and focused.

The Ugly Face of Road Rage

2011-02-11T19:51:00.004-05:00

Mention road rage and many people automatically think of tail-gating, drivers weaving in and out of traffic or some perturbed individual making obscene hand gestures and cursing out the window at every car he passes. And this, in fact, is your garden variety, everyday type of rage that most of us can expect to encounter on any given road trip.

There is, however, a much more sinister side to the road rage personality that is criminal, perhaps even psychotic. Most of us have experienced that as well. Just how far will some folks go to express themselves? A man in Louisville, Kentucky actually threatened to decapitate another driver who "got in his way"

As bad as that may sound, there are actually cases where road rage resulted in the death of an individual with the outraged driver being convicted and sentenced for his crime.

Not all innocent victims are strangers to the aggressive driver. One man was actually convicted of manslaughter in the death of his own daughter and, in a separate incident, charged with assault in additional traffic incidents.

The list of examples cited daily in the news media is overwhelming and, frankly, more than a little bit disturbing. Let's take a moment today to stop and look at the bigger picture. Road rage is not a socially acceptable condition of modern life. We can't continue to turn our back on bad driving behavior or reward our friends, family and neighbors with positive reinforcement when they speed, tail-gate or try to intimidate other drivers on the road.

Retaliation is not the answer. That only leads to two aggressive drivers on the road, instead of one. What do you think? Where do you stand? What can we do to turn the tide?

The Rage Continues. . .

2010-10-14T18:27:00.000-04:00

People . . . really. What goes through your heads when you can allow the pent up anger within you to erupt on the highway against another individual who seems to get in your way. Right in my own hometown the crazy anger known as "Road Rage" is running rampant.

Just take a look at one simple example.

How bad can it be when you're on the road? How much does the rest of humanity bug you that you can't stand to drive down the street without taking a jab a someone on the road?

It's time to take a step back and evaluate where we are as humans.

Lethal Weapon

2010-08-27T20:42:00.000-04:00

How many of us stop to think about the threat we pose behind the wheel of a car? In reality, driving a car is probably the closest most of us will come in our lifetimes to being in control of a lethal weapon. Does that thought frighten you?

Did you wake up this morning with the idea in your head that you might be responsible for someone's death today? It could happen. If you want to scare yourself, try setting up a Google Alert in your system using the phrase "road rage." You will be amazed, disgusted, perhaps sickened (as I generally am) by the number of links you will receive each day describing anger, hostility, injury and, yes, even death on the highways and roads around us due to the enraged actions of drivers.

Driving should not be a competitive sport. Being "first" or being "right" or whatever it is that propels drivers on in a heated frenzy on the road are ludicrous goals. At the end of the day, wouldn't you really rather just be alive?

If you drive today you will encounter someone who is driving too slow, making a turn from the wrong lane or is, in some other way, disrupting your smooth flow in traffic. Take a deep breath. It's okay. Really, it is. Your method of transportation is the fastest and most reliable in history. Enjoy your good fortune and try not to punish everyone else around you.

Remember, you are in command of a lethal weapon.

Sometimes I Wonder . . .

2010-07-09T21:20:00.000-04:00

An interesting question came to mind today. Oh, it's one I think about quite frequently, to be honest. It's just that days like today make it seem so much more perplexing.

Today I was driving home in a heavy downpour, with windshield wipers flapping at full speed, dealing with rush hour traffic on a Friday afternoon, you know, all the fun parts of driving. I couldn't help but notice the number of tail-gaters around me. Behind me, in front of me, on my left, approaching from the opposite direction. In dangerous weather conditions, it doesn't take much for a tire to slip, a lapse of judgement to cause a driver to be distracted or for conditions to deteriorate to the point where visibility is compromised. In any of these cases, an accident is a guaranteed outcome.

Knowing the risks, why would anyone drive dangerously close to the car in front of them? What is it about driving a car that gives some people a sense of invincibility and power?

A car is a potentially lethal weapon. Why do some people feel they can drive this weapon with the same cavalier attitude they might use to throw a softball - just toss it out there and see where it lands!

I don't expect a logical answer to my question. I don't suppose there is one. It's just that maybe, the next time you are behind the wheel of your car and the driving conditons are less than favorable, you might want to stop and think about all the other inexperienced, distracted or confused drivers who might be in front of you. If they slip, skid, lose control or decide to slow down suddenly to avoid driving too quickly through a pool of standing water of undetermined depth, do you really want to go through all the hassle involved when you hit them because you didn't have time or distance on your side to stop in time?

If Only They Knew . . .

2010-06-04T18:55:00.001-04:00

I had an interesting experience on the road today. Yes, of course I'm about to describe an episode of maniacal driving behavior - that's why I'm here, after all. It all started with a young female driver, apparently not more than a few months past her drivers test. After a few hazardous attempts to pass me in a single lane of traffic (yeah, really!) I finally pulled over enough to allow her to do so, rather than risk unnecessary damage to my two month old car. Apparently happy with the fact that she was now in front of little, ol' me in an interminable line of rush hour traffic, she kept looking in her rear view mirror, quite aware of my shaking, disapproving head.

Being only one car length ahead of me must have been very frustrating to her. About a mile down the road she was stopped behind a line of traffic, most of which was trying to make a left turn and keeping her from speeding up to the back bumper of the next car squeezing its way through the bumper to bumper traffic. I couldn't help but laugh; she couldn't help but see. Finally, when the way was clear for her to pass, she continued to sit at the green light. She waited for it to turn red, then sped through it, apparently gloating to herself that she had finally left me stuck behind the red light.

If only she knew . . .

My first rule of the road is simple - Keep the jerks in front of you! That's the best way to keep an eye on them. The rest of my ride home was pleasant, as I no longer had to stare at the out of state West Virginia license plate in front of me (I love playing mind games memorizing license plate numbers; one more point she wouldn't be happy to know) or watch out for the next stupid move she would make.

Tip for the Day: The best place for bad drivers is in front of you. Avoid having them behind you if at all possible. Also, it doesn't hurt to pay attention to license plates. Hmm . . .

The Bully in the Playground

2010-04-05T20:44:00.001-04:00

Most of us have been on the receiving end of bully tactics somewhere along the way in grade school. Some of us cowered in fear; some us learned to fight back; some of us evolved into bullies ourselves.

Highways, roads and neighborhood streets are the adult version of the playground. Road rage bullies push and shove on the road. They hurt people. They intimidate people. They try to flex their phantom muscles to exert control. As with playground bullies, without the power of intimidation on their side, they are weak and impotent.

Reactions to these bullies mimic our playground responses as well. Some us exhibit fear (justifiable - these people are not on the same rational level of sanity as the average person). Some of us learn to fight back using the power of logic or the law to mold public opinion or policy. Some of us, unfortunately, evolve into bullies ourselves, using the misguided rationale of "an eye for an eye."

Retaliation does not stop road rage bullies - it doubles their number. Do you really think you could have stopped Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer or Ted Kaczynski (the Unibomber) by picking up a gun, a knife or a stick of dynamite yourself?

Road rage is unjustifiable, illogical and illegal behavior that works hard to erode the more civilized fiber of society. It spills over into our relationships and our way of looking at the world around us. It teaches our children that "might makes right" by instilling fear into those who appear vulnerable on the road, generally the elderly, women travelling alone or young, obviously new, drivers.

Have you ever seen a road rage bully try to intimidate an 18-wheeler or some other heavy equipment type of vehicle? It doesn't work; the big guy knows his power and his strength and doesn't need to retaliate to prove his strength. The bully is just an ant at a picnic - annoying and easy to flick away. Road rage bullies only go after the weaker element around them.

Road Rage Bullies Walk Among Us
Yeah, it was the Old Trigger Finger Again

We're Surrounded But Don't Give Up

2010-03-23T20:32:00.000-04:00

I wish I could tell you that as long as you behave in a civil manner on the highway, those around you will do so as well. Sigh . . . evidence proves me wrong. You never know where the next burst of anger or righteous indignation will burst forth. It could be the vehicle next to you. It could be one a mile down the road. It could be the driver of your vehicle if you happen to be the passenger.

I see road rage as a virulent epidemic with no cure in sight. Apparently I am not the only concerned citizen on this topic. Some even go so far as to identify the stages of road rage. I think there may be more degrees of rage out there than many people realize. Road rage, in many of its ugly levels, is illegal criminal behavior. Aggression, assault, inflicting bodily harm and all-around general terrorizing are the highest form of anti-social behavior.

Road rage is everywhere in our world today. You CAN make a difference. Courtesy can be infectious, just like the aggression that spawns road rage.

Give someone a BRAKE today.

Entitlement on the Road

2010-03-16T19:02:00.001-04:00

One of my favorite soap box issues is the subject of "entitlement." You know, that feeling some people have that the world owes them something just because they exist on the planet. It goes along with the concept that children think their parents owe them a college education, a new car on their sixteenth birthday or just about anything else they think they want on a day to day basis. The entitlement theory goes along with the idea that people want to start out at the top of heap instead of working their way through the system to achieve a position they've earned, not one that was handed to them.

Entitlement thinking seems to run rampant on the highway now. Aggressive drivers feel everyone should get out of their way. They want to set the pace in terms of speed on the road; they want to have access to exit ramps even when they're driving three lanes over on the opposite side of the highway; they expect the light to stay green until they get through and if it doesn't, well, the intersecting traffic had just better wait until he runs the red light.

I expect the problem to get worse before it gets better. There is more than enough turmoil in the world today on much larger scales than the road rage that takes place each day. Wars and threats of wars hang over our heads, serial killers and terrorists abound, even the environment presents grave threats in terms of global warming or destructive storms. There is not enough law enforcement available to deal with every condition in society.

That's why it's up to the individual to make the highways more civilized. We are not simply an army of robots in our steel vehicles making our way along the pathway of life. We are flesh and blood human beings. All of us. You, me and, yeah, even that guy over there in the mini-van or the elderly person driving along fifteen miles below the speed limit.

Please, today, take one minute out of your drive time to extend courtesy to another driver on the road. And, if someone shows you some compassion and allows you to merge into their lane or stops to allow you to make a left turn in heavy traffic, take a split second to wave a "thank you" to them. Is this war of terror on the roads the way you want to live your life? If not, do your part to change it.

One act of kindness. Just one.

An Example for the Future

2010-03-14T14:58:00.000-04:00

Kids learn alot about how to behave in the world by emulating the adults around them.

In a recently overheard conversation, a man was recounting a story where he was driving with his two young sons in the back seat. Another driver on the road made an ill-advised or unintentionally thoughtless move on the road near the man's car. The man understood that the other driver was not deliberately driving badly and didn't really think much of it until his son reacted. From the back seat one of the boys rolled down his window, exhibited an obscene hand gesture and called the other driver an offensive name. Without having to be told, the man knew instantly why his son behaved the way he did. The child had seen very similar behavior in his father just a few days earlier.

The man's thoughts on that day, as he shared his story, were to question the legacy he was creating for his children. "What will they remember about me as adults after I'm gone? That I was an angry, aggressive driver? That I had no respect for my fellow man?"

More importantly, the man questioned his effectiveness as a parent in trying to raise what he hoped would be responsible adults with a level of respect for the world around them. It didn't seem to matter as much what he said to them or what he was trying to teach them. Instead, they were learning more by watching the example that was put in front of them on a daily basis.

What will your children learn from watching you drive? What will they remember about you after you're gone?

Back Off! Tailgating Isn't Good Driving

2010-03-09T20:48:00.000-05:00

Tailgating is a sign of an inability of the driver to judge their position on the road. When learning to drive, one of the first skills needed is the ability to make spatial judgments. Since the driver can't necessarily see all four corners of the vehicle, they can't rely solely on vision for guidance. The driver must learn to judge the distance in front of the car and on both sides in order to avoid scraping the side of the car on the medial barrier or hitting the car in the next lane over.

Many driving manuals recommend allowing one car length between cars to every ten miles in speed being travelled. (50 miles an hour equates to a safe driving distance between vehicles of five car lengths). For drivers who can't judge their position on the road, this distance is too great.

Those drivers who don't develop spatial judgment must stick more closely behind the car in front of them to avoid driving out of their lane. It is not superior driving ability that causes drivers to tailgate. Rather, it is an inability to judge their space on the road.

A good driver will not tailgate the car in front of them even if the lead car is driving too slowly. Common sense should tell you that a slow driver may be inexperienced, lost, confused or otherwise impaired. Tailgating will not improve the situation and, if fact, will likely cause aggressive behavior or stress. When the driver in front appears less than confident on the road, keeping a safe distance is more important than ever.

Of course, if the driver can't judge the position of their car on the road, they may have no other choice than to tailgate. It covers up the sense of inadequacy they feel over their spatial abilities.

Tailgating isn't good driving; it isn't even simply aggressive driving. It is incapable driving.

The Consequences Can be Serious

2010-03-08T20:54:00.000-05:00

Road rage isn't always just between the aggressive driver and the poor person who happens to get in his way on the road. Road rage all too often extends to other innocent parties on the road as well.

In my efforts to note some of the news stories depicting some of the more henious acts of road rage I must admit I am growing ever more saddened by the huge number of covered news stories I find each and every day. The events which make the news are extreme examples of overly aggressive driving behaviors. For every one of these stories there are dozens of lesser offenses perpetrated each and every hour of the day.

Aggression against your fellow drivers on the road shouldn't be the order of the day. There is never a driving issue so insulting that the only recourse is to take someone's life. Sadly, I could fill volumes with links to acts of aggression carried out on the highways.

How have we managed, as a society, to become so hardened and numb to the human life around us? For every act of violence committed, there are people who will suffer needlessly.

How did we lose our sense of compassion for humanity? It starts so young, that is even more discouraging. Today I have nothing to offer in the way of hope; only a moment to show the world that this vicious epidemic is getting out of control.

It's Either "Them" or "Me"

2010-03-02T21:08:00.000-05:00

Paranoid delusions aside, everyone is not out to get you on the road of life. Most people just want to get where they are going, just like you do. So, if someone appears to be driving too slowly, acting like they don't know where they are going or makes some other minor transgression on the road, rise up and be the bigger person. Show some compassion on the road. Kindness will win you more points than aggression every time.

In an ideal world, everyone would drive the speed limit, maintain safe driving distances between themselves and the car in front of them, always use their turn signals and stay in the right hand lane except to pass. This, as we all know, is seldom the case. Driving is a mixed bag of confused drivers, preoccupied drivers and people who simply don't have a clue. They are all out there, people! They were there yesterday, they will be there tomorrow. They're not going away! Learn to cope!

Driving is a privilege granted to a wide range of folks. Consider it a win if you make it to your destination safe and alive each day. Don't approach every driving situation as a battle between "them" and "me." In this world of "us" driving is the way most of us get around. Being right isn't worth all that much if you cause an accident that could have been avoided by yielding a space on the road even if you have the "right" to be there. Make the "safe" choice over the "right" choice and everybody wins.

Is Road Rage Ever Justified?

2010-02-27T20:28:00.002-05:00

It occurs to me that not everyone sees road rage as a character flaw. Take, for example, the viewpoint of a man driving a school bus full of children on a field trip. Never wanting to be one to stand fully on one side of an argument, unwilling to let the other side speak its mind, I invite you to take a look at his idea of driving a school bus entails.

My first recommendation, if you encounter this gentleman on the road -- Get Out Of His Way!!

No, I take that back, my first recommendation is to remove your children from the presence of this deranged control freak. Until, and unless, school authorities and law enforcement agencies take a stricter stand against this sort of behavior, every parent out there needs to take 110% of the responsibility for keeping their children safe. It's not just the other drivers on the road that present a danger to our loved ones. Sometimes it is the very people we entrust to keep our children from harm.

Pushing Your Way onto the Highway

2010-02-26T20:55:00.000-05:00

PUSHING - Driving too closely behind the car in front of you in an effort to make them go faster.

You wouldn't shove an elderly person down the stairs -- why would you "push" them when you're out on the road? Older drivers are often the innocent victims of aggressive drivers. There is a common misconception in certain circles that older drivers, because they are more experienced and more careful on the road, are somehow less capable of driving a car.

Often you will find older drivers to be model drivers when it comes to obeying speed limits and adhering to traffic laws in general. For some reason, this behavior can drive aggressive drivers to the point of distraction and they feel it is their right and duty to tailgate older drivers to either push them out of the way or to nudge them to go faster.

That steel cocoon aggressive drivers wrap themselves in on the highway is not a dehumanizing shield to hide behind while perpetrating road rage on other drivers; it is simply a car. It moves a person from point A to point B in life. Lots of people have them. Some of those people will drive more cautiously than others and some of them may seem to get in the way from time to time.

Ask yourself one question the next time you are driving on the highway and an older person in front of you is driving safely, cautiously and, quite possibly, too slowly for your personal tastes -- How are you planning to get around when you reach your golden years? As you are, they used to be; as they are, you will become.

We all deserve a place on the road of life. Just as you share the road with big trucks, motorcyclists and a wide range of other vehicles, you need to share the road with a variety of othe humans. Some drive fast, some drive slow, some are experienced and some just received a drivers license yesterday. They all have a right to be there -- and to continue their journey unmolested by aggression.

Retaliation is Road Rage as Well

2010-02-25T21:29:00.000-05:00

A common excuse used by those who exhibit aggressive behavior on the road is that they were just reacting to what was going on around them.

"Did you see that guy cut me off?"

"I slammed on my brakes because the car behind me was tailgating. That'll teach him!"

"Who does he think he is making obscene hand gestures at me! I'll show him!"

The logic of this sort of excuse defies any rational level of common sense. The only thing you have on the road when you react to the aggressive driving behavior of others is two perpetrators of road rage. Level heads will never prevail under these circumstances. In fact, the situation is almost guaranteed to escalate. The news media portrays daily examples of accidents, injuries and even deaths caused by the hot headed lack of judgement displayed by people who fall victim to aggression within themselves and choose to take it out on those around them.

The bigger person in any hostile situation on the road is the one who keeps their cool. They know how to pick their battles in life, and they understand that none of those battles should take place on the highway.

The next time you witness road rage in action, take time to first remove yourself from the situation, take a step back and allow yourself a feeling of pity for the poor outraged driver who thinks his 50 feet of space on the road is more important than his life or the lives of innocent people in the vicinity.

Join Me on a New Path

2010-02-24T21:10:00.001-05:00

For quite some time now I have used this forum to vent on topics ranging from the commonplace to those more deeply personal. I have enjoyed sharing my thoughts with anyone who might have stumbled across my path out here in the blogosphere.

I have felt compelled to answer a different calling and to direct my blog towards a greater purpose. For that reason, I am taking this opportunity to vere off course a bit (no pun intended) and focus my efforts on a cause and a societal issue that impacts us all.

Daddy-Drives-Like-A-Maniac is my attempt to draw attention to the pervasive problem of road rage. Intelligent adults know the dangers, but it is my belief that bright, energetic children will be the ones to drive the point home (again, no pun intended).

And so, if Daddy (or Mommy) drives like a maniac in your household, here is the time and place to learn the facts, focus on the reality of the problem and maybe even start letting Daddy know his behavior doesn't cut it anymore.

I welcome any and all comments addressing the issues of road rage, aggressive driving and all around bad behavior on the roads.

Write It Down!

2010-02-20T16:00:00.001-05:00

I am constantly reminded of the value of keeping good records in life. Not just the obvious ones like your medical history, due dates for bills and tax preparation documents - although those items are essential. No, I mean on a more personal, daily level. I'm a big list maker, journal keeper and file cabinet junkie. I like to have a path to guide me through the days.

That's why I like to keep a food journal. I want to know what I ate, when I ate it and what motivated me to keep eating (sometimes past the point of hunger). Accountability is the key to behavior change. Writing down anything and everything you eat is crucial to changing your eating patterns. If you don't believe me, try it for yourself.

At first it seems like a game. Breakfast: 2 eggs, toast, coffee. Lunch: Fettucini Alfredo and dessert. Dinner: 8 ounce steak, mashed potatoes, broccoli, apple pie. Snacks: apple, candy bar, bagel, bag of chips. . .

Excuse me! Did something just get a little bit out of hand here? While any one (or two) of those items (especially the snacks) don't seem all that terrible, do you honestly want to admit to anyone (even yourself) that you ate four or five different, calorie laden, non-nutritious food items in a single day. And what about the Fettucini? (not called "heart attack on a plate" for nothing)

That's my point. When you write it down, you see what you've done. I can practically guarantee you that tomorrow you will drop at least one of those junk items from the list.

Accountability! That's what it's all about. You can't pretend it didn't happen. You wrote it down, after all.

I've been back to the food journalling concept for the last three months or so and I must admit, my adherence to the diet I'm trying to hold myself to reflects my efforts.

If you want to know what you're doing with your food intake, the hours of your day that seem to slip by unnoticed or any other crucial part of daily living, write it down. Take a good, hard look at yourself on a piece of paper (or computer screen).

Lessons My Mother Taught Me

2010-02-19T13:53:00.003-05:00

When it came to Old Wives' Tales, my mother was the original Old Wife. She knew the significance of an itchy left palm (unexpected money on the way in), the itchy right palm (unexpected money on the way out), the meaning of a burning ear (someone is talking about you) and a whole host of other coincidences of life. What she lacked in educational opportunities she more than made up for in good, old fashioned common sense (something I have discovered to be less than common a great deal of time).

I am constantly reminded in my life of the practical, honest and necessary lessons she taught me; most of which I did not realize I was learning at the time. My mother was a tidy soul. She did not tolerate well the sloppy behavior that comes along with children being children. As such, learning to clean up after ourselves was never really much of a question. She expected it; we did it.

The lessons of neatness and maintaining my environment have stuck with me throughout life. Whenever I am anxious, uncertain, concerned or in despair, I resort to one of my mother's favorite solutions to any problem - clean something.

Mundane? Boring? Dull? Use any adjective you like, but it works. Accomplishment is the answer to a host of life's dilemmas. Whenver I find myself spinning out of control, going in circles and not knowing how to find the road in front of me, I empty a file drawer, rearrange a room or clear out my hard drive. At the end of the day I am further along than I was at the beginning of the day and that, essentially, is what it takes to make progress.

Global Economy

2010-02-15T20:29:00.003-05:00

Recent events over the past few weeks have caused me to interact with offshore customer service support more times than I care to admit. Computers, GPS systems, a wide assortment of entertainment gadgets and untold other pieces and parts of my life now require me to speak to people on the other side of the globe to resolve my issues.

Like many others, I find it a bit disconcerting to have to rely on someone ten thousand miles away to help me. And, like many other people, I often find communicating with the service people located in India or Malaysia to be anything but easy and comfortable. It goes without saying that the jobs lost to offshore service people is a blight on the economy as well.

With all the negative points that go along with the ordeal of international customer service, may I be (perhaps) the first to list one positive attribute of dealing with offshore service. While the conversation may be difficult, even painful, at times, and the questions and answers may have to be repeated two, three or four times, when all is said and done, I have never encountered an incompetent computer geek in India or an inept technician in Malaysia.

For all the grief and aggravation that comes along with offshore service, at the end of the day, my problems are solved and I can move on with my life. Am I happy about all of this? No, not really. But I've come to realize the world does not operate at my command or march to the beat of my drummer. It is I who must learn to cope. I may not like the pattern of life as I see it, but it is definitely life -- and I see it.

Weight Watchers - My Old Friend

2010-02-09T20:11:00.003-05:00

I've never been in a position of being considered truly overweight. Even so, from time to time over the last ten or fifteen years, I've found myself struggling to lose a few (okay, several) pounds. Time and time again, I have returned to my old faithful friend, Weight Watchers. The Weight Watchers program has always come through for me and, I find, it is doing so again.

For those of you hoping to lose 50, 70 or even 100 pounds, you will probably laugh at my current weight loss goal of 15 pounds. Yes, that's all it is, but that's more than enough for my state of mind. Although I have never truly managed to stick to the goals of Lifetime Membership with Weight Watchers (although I have earned the double-W pin), I have continuously returned to the program when things started to get a little out of hand.

Pants get tight, dresses don't fit the way I like - these are the signs I use to know when it's time. That time came a couple months ago. I haven't set the world on fire with my results; I never do. But I believe slow and steady will work for me once again. The holidays provided a little set back. Oh well. That just means it's time to re-commit and start again.

And so I have. Mentally I'm right on target. As of today, with my goal weight being 15 pounds total, I have lost 9.6 pounds. Almost two-thirds of the way there. I'll be feeling pretty good when spring comes along.

Read Any Good Books Lately?

2010-02-03T22:14:00.004-05:00

As a child I couldn't find enough hours in a day to read. Lazy summer days were spent walking to the local library, checking out as many books as my library card allowed and returning home to start the joyous task of reading. Over time I developed a list of favorite books, many of which I can still name today. I used to make it a habit of re-reading much loved books every few years, savoring every bit of enjoyment all over again.

In college, a professor once told me, "Reading is re-reading" meaning that the first time through a book was just to get an idea what it was about. The second reading was when you could actually expect to reach down into the inner meaning.

It has occurred to me in recent years that I am not going to keep up with my goal of reading everything worthwhile in my limited lifetime. I no longer feel I have the luxury of re-reading. I can barely scratch the surface of everything I want to read for the first time.

I guess I could let this get me down, but I don't. I read for the love of reading. It's that simple. I will continue to read for the same reason. Perhaps the greatest gift of knowledge I ever received was the ability to read. Once that skill is mastered, every other field of knowledge is opened up.

Read and good books lately?

We Can't Do It All

2010-02-02T22:09:00.002-05:00

In these days of having it all, wanting it all and being all you can be, it can be disheartening to realize that you simply can't do it all. Some of those lofty goals I have set my sites on for so long will need to be set aside in the face of the reality of living.

My goals have been modest, to be sure. I've wanted, and achieved, a succesful career, a good marriage and a host of relatively minor goals in the days and years of my time on this planet. All in all, I've done okay.

I realized recently, in my effort to do it all, that I am pushing myself into achieving those goals that everybody else thinks I should set for myself. I have temporarily lost track of my own desires. It is sad, yet enlightening, to realize that valuable time has been wasted in the pursuit of worldly expectations.

Much to my deep sadness, I realize I have set aside my love of reading in order to accomplish a host of other time consuming activities, some of which I want to pursue, others I simply must pursue. If I have made one New Year's resolution for 2010 it is this - I want to read.

If I live to be 1,000 years old, I will not be able to read all the great writing that is out there. Why should I waste another week, month or year of my life putting off something I really want to do?

As much as I understand the value of exercise, I have spent far too much time trying to clock my hours at the gym when I have perfectly effective exercise equipment right in my own home. Again, I have re-evaluated my priorities.

I can't do it all. But, from this point on, I definitely want to do as much as I can with the hours that are mine.

A New Look at Mindful Eating

2009-10-22T18:38:00.003-04:00

We are all familiar with the idea of keeping a food journal to keep track of the foods we eat when we are trying to watch our diets. It's a great idea and it actually does work.

Today I have been introduced to a new way of looking at what, when and how I eat. For today, I am engaged in the prep work for a colonoscopy that I will be having tomorrow. My solid food intake for this day consisted of one egg, scrambled, and eight vanilla wafer crackers. That's it. And that was all prior to 12:00 noon. It is now nearly 7:00 P.M. If it weren't for all the liquid floating around inside me right now, I'm sure I could describe myself as famished.

Much like an addict, I find myself mindlessly reaching out for something to munch on. Not necessarily out of hunger, although I am hungry, but more out of a sense of, I don't know, something to do with my hands. Vague thoughts of food keep floating in and out of my brain.

Yes, I will admit, my number one desire right now is for some roast turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy and a scoop of macaroni and cheese. A weird combination? Maybe. I don't care. That's what my body craves right now.

Every time I go to my refrigerator for my next glassful of that soapy liquid, I see another great food item staring back at me from the recesses of my refrigerator. Almost anything looks good (make that great) to me right now.

Tomorrow, when I'm thinking more clearly, I will take time to ponder this mindless eating concept in depth. Just how much do I reach out and grab something to eat without giving much thought to why I'm eating it or if I'm really hungry? What steps should I be taking to overcome that bad habit?

Tomorrow, I will work on this one. Right now, I have more pressing concerns.

Looking at the Gloomier Side of Life

2009-10-09T20:42:00.002-04:00

We are constantly being admonished to "cheer up" and "look at the brighter side of things" and "keep a positive attitude." I'm all in favor of optimism. I think it keeps the world moving forward in a progressive direction. However, let me just take a moment to put in a few good words about gloom and despair.

No, I'm not depressed or down on life. Far from it. However, as the old saying goes, "Misery loves company." A great way to develop camaraderie with friends, family and co-workers can be by grumbling. Yep, if you want to get a load off your chest, nothing beats complaining about the boss, casting aspersions on the political leadership or even grumbling about the spouse or kids.

Knowing that others are in the same boat as we are in terms of facing economic woes, dealing with family life drama or worrying about the future of the universe can go a long way to making us feel better. In fact, if we find ourselves in the midst of a good, old-fashion gripe session with our peers, we just may find the strength of laugh about all the worries that were getting us down.

Fake enthusiasm does no one any good. So, if you have a complaint or a worry, let it out in the open once in awhile. You just may find the strength and support from others to face another day - honestly, openly and without the need to pretend everything is great if it's not.

G20 Summit in Pittsburgh - One View

2009-09-24T10:54:00.003-04:00

On this day, the leaders of the world are gathered together here in my hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania for the purpose of convening to discuss the economic state of the globe at the G20 Summit. It's an exciting time, here in the 'burgh, but an anxious one as well. For all intents and purposes, the day to day life of the Golden Triangle and the downtown district of the city, as well as several nearby communities located in the South Side of the city and the North Shore on the opposite bank, has been brought to a near stand still.

Many downtown office buildings are closed for these days, some with the foresight to board up their windows before leaving for a forced vacation period. Those who chose to remain open are often operating on a skeleton crew as those with vacation time to spare are choosing to remove themselves from the heart of the action. School districts whose students and bus routes must intersect with the city have chosen to close for a few days.

What, you may wonder, is the purpose of avoiding this high energy, world altering, history making event? It's simple. The citizens of Pittsburgh have been preparing for a huge influx of protestors from all over the globe with agendas ranging from unemployment, green energy and global outsourcing to just plain, everyday garden variety insanity.

It is this later group that is of the greatest concern. Legitimate protests, legal outcries against the many and varied injustices of the world is a noble cause. By and large, the thousands, perhaps tens of thousands, of protesters here in Pittsburgh fall into this category.

The fear, however, is that a media smorgasbord of attention from around the world will provide the perfect venue for the next deranged psycho, mass murderer or international terrorist organization to stage their latest stunt and receive the maximum attention.

Let's face it. There is a certain small, okay, minute segment of humanity that waits anxiously for their "15 minutes of fame" to quote a Pittsburgh legend, Andy Warhol. The time and place to make a dramatic assault against the status quo and go down in history in the process is when the eyes of world can see and report every detail.

And so, this day has finally come. Many desire, hope and pray that the events of these few days will indeed be historic and world changing - in a positive way. Many will also breathe a sigh of relief when life here in Pittsburgh returns to normal and going out to lunch in the middle of a busy work day no longer means sharing the coffee shop with a SWAT team, a crew of probable undercover agents and a troup of National Guard.

Finding the Drive

2009-09-12T13:34:00.002-04:00

I work with the same 24 hours in a day that everyone else on the planet has at their disposal. In that time frame I must work, eat, sleep, spend time with my husband and carry out the numerous chores and activities that come along with life in the twenty first century.

For me, one of those activities is regular attendance at the local gym. My modest goal of five hours a weeks may seem puny to some but, for me, it is a healthy option that requires more than a little determination on some days. Lately, I have found myself in that state of struggle. I know I must go; I actually want to go. Somehow I find myself concocting a long list of excuses why I can't possibly go today.

The obvious danger of this practice is obvious.

So far, my will to survive and stay healthy and active has outweighed my subconscious desire to become a couch potato. At least so far. I feel good, sitting here, proud to say I have done my spinning, my body sculpting and my yoga today. An awesome accomplishment if I do say so myself. But the struggle to get out of bed early on a cool, chilly, nearly autumn morning was almost more than I could bear.

I must add a new goal to my "To Do" list of life. That new goal is to find a level of excited motivation to do what I know must be done. And, to do it with anticipation and joy, not dread and foreboding. Wish me luck.

Customer Service at its Most Mediocre

2009-09-03T21:04:00.003-04:00

Having just spent 10 days on vacation, I must confess to having experienced an inordinately high level of exposure to fast food and restaurant meals. I usually pride myself in paying close attention to health, diet and nutrition, but sometimes expediency outweighs good judgement and we are forced to make choices we wouldn't ordinarily make.

Now, first of all, there are a number of relatively healthy options to be had in the fast food realm and in restaurants in general. I am aware of that. And, actually, my gripe is not with quality of offerings. Rather, I have to state, somewhat woefully, that I have just spent 10 days dealing with some of the surliest and most inefficient service people I can ever imagine.

I have had my order delivered incorrectly, slowly, sloppily (once actually dropped before arriving at my table) and never once with a word of apology or concern over the issues involved. I have had to deal with numerous service personnel who could not speak the language of the people they were waiting on. In one instance, I feel sure I would still be waiting for my check if I had not walked over to the cashier and insisted on paying my tab so I could get on with my life's work.

Should I blame it on the staff shortages that plague every area of the world's economy? Maybe. But there is something more. I see a lack of pride in one's performance. No one wants to endure a McJob forever, but surely the attitude that every job is worthy of one's best efforts is not a dying philosophy that only resides in the dinosaur generation of which I am a part.

I can only say that I am relieved to be safely back at home, in the confines of my own kitchen, preparing food I know and trust and pleasantly greeting my husband as we sit down to a healthy meal that both satisfies and pleases our palates.

2009-08-20T20:19:00.002-04:00

As strange as this may sound, I find the Table of Contents of magazines to be intriguing. No, I don't have a short attention span, unable to concentrate any longer than it takes to read a two sentence blurb about the enclosed articles. Rather, I find the Table of Contents to be a rich tapestry of words and ideas. My mind starts racing immediately as I peruse the Table of Contents of any one of my favorite magazines.

Instead of settling down immediately to read the cover page article about "14 Days to Weight Loss" or some other routine, eye-catching title, I look over the Letters to the Editors, the relationship question and answer column topics or the feature interviews that are upcoming in this month's edition. My mind races as I begin anticipating all the different ideas and concepts that are coming my way in the current edition.

I am much more interactive with my favorite magazines when I approach them in this manner. I am active and engaged when I open the magazine each time, already anticipating the many topics coming my way.

My first stop when a new magazine arrives in my mailbox is to go directly to the Table of Contents. I spend a good half hour on those couple pages, taking it all in. I hope magazine editors understand and appreciate just how important the Table of Contents is to advertising their product.

Dare to Dream

2009-08-17T21:18:00.003-04:00

It's that time again. In a few days I will depart on yet another mysterious vacation to places I have never been before. It was my lifelong dream to see as much of the world as possible during my brief stay on this planet. I got off to a slow, but steady, start. I have picked up the pace greatly in the last several years.

Good thing, too. I read an analogy somewhere that life is like a roll of toilet paper - It goes faster the closer you get to the end. I take a certain amount of consolation in the fact that now I know I will not go to my grave without having seen Europe. The list of foreign countries under my travel belt is growing. I like that.

The world is incredibly diverse. I am incredibly the same. I need the exposure to the world around me to chisel the facets of life into me that will provide some level of dimension to my smooth, uninteresting surfaces.

I am ready to take on my next adventure. My recommendation to one and all is to reach out and see something you haven't seen before. Go somewhere you've always dreamed of going. See what layers of dust and debris you can shed and open yourself up to something new in your world - whether you have the opportunity to go to another country to find it or to another community in your hometown. Go! Look for a fresh experience.

Always a Dreamer - No Longer Perfect

2009-08-10T20:51:00.003-04:00

As a child, I had the same kind of dreams as every other little girl of my generation. You know the ones - ballerina, movie star, princess. Yeah, right!

I've given up on all of those dreams - long ago, actually. But that doesn't mean I've given up on dreaming. Today my dreams are peppered with the sweet spark of reality. I know "happily ever after" is an exaggeration. At best, pretty happy most of the time is the best any of us can hope for. More importantly, I've learned a critical lesson about dreaming.

Perfection is not part of the equation.

In order to write a book, one does not have to be the most eloquent English writer in the history of literature. To play the piano, one does not have to be a clone of Mozart or Bach. To be a good parent, one does not have to emulate Dr. Spock every day of their lives.

If you want to live out a dream - go for it! Put one foot in front of the other and do the thing you want to do. Don't wait until you have all the education in the world under your belt. Don't wait for just the right level of experience or the right job opportunity to describe yourself according to your dream.

Practicality may dictate that you have to be waiter to pay the bills before you make your world debut as an actor, but it doesn't mean you have to wait to "be discovered" before you begin to act and call yourself an actor. Do what you can wherever you can. Be an extra in a local movie shoot. Get a small part at the community theatre. Live the dream!

If it's in your heart, you won't find your place in this world or your total expression of happiness until you let it out - somewhere, somehow, in one form or another.

Write if you have words! Sing if you have a voice! Cook, teach, mentor, advise, build, create, encourage, perform. It's later than you think. Don't wait for perfection to find you. It's not coming!

Me and My Stuff are at it Again

2009-08-03T20:41:00.002-04:00

I was raised with the overshadowing of the World War II mentality of frugality from my parents and grandparents. Anything with a purpose should be saved, even if that purpose was not readily obvious. As a result, old shoes, clothing, small appliances, ancient holiday decorations, etc., always managed to find a home in my closets, attics, basements and drawers.

For years I managed this menagerie pretty well. I'd box "it" up, stack "it" up or hang "it" up and allow "it" to reside, rent free, for years before disposing of "it." "It" might be anything. But one thing "it" seldom was, was useful.

Add to this my collections of this and that. Things that appealed to me at one point in my life or another. Souvenirs from many vacations. Books I would never read again but couldn't part with. Collections of "valuable" collector's items that attracted me at some point in time.

Recently, my stuff has taken on a life of its own. It is no longer mine. It's more like I am the possession. Coming to this realization is not a pleasant thought for me. It's time to fight back. My stuff must now become accountable to me. If it cannot justify its existence, I'm sorry to say, it must go. Local charities have been the recipients of a good deal of my largess in recent months. The trash collector may be wondering exactly what's going on with the increased weekly garbage.

It feels good. I'm not there yet, but I'm on the road to recovery. I will be the victor over my copious piles of stuff. I have a couple of closets I'd like to get to know better.

Bizarre Preoccupations

2009-07-26T16:20:00.004-04:00

I admit it. I have always had a macabre fascination with deranged criminals. It probably all started with the Boston Strangler, but it came into full bloom with Charles Manson and his disturbing, psychotic killing spree. It didn't stop there either. Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, David Berkowitz (better known as the "Son of Sam") and many others of less notoriety have captivated my interest.

I've always wondered what drew me to studying and reading about these characters. I still wonder, but now my fascination has moved into a new direction. Recently, I had the pleasure of viewing the movie "Public Enemies" starring Johnnie Depp as John Dillinger. My attraction to World War II era criminals was never anywhere close to that of the serial killers listed above - until now.

There is a great scene in the movie where John Dillinger is making the acquaintance of the woman that will become his lady for the rest of his ill-gotten life, Billie Freschette. They are sitting at the bar while Billie is trying to extract information from Dillinger about who he is and what he's all about. Suddenly, the Johnnie Depp character blurts out, "My name is John Dillinger and I rob banks."

Well, can we be any more direct? Did Billie turn and run like any reasonably sane person might expect? No. She accepted that as truth and the relationship proceeded. Right before Dillinger's death, as the FBI was closing in, rather than reveal his whereabouts, and at great personal risk to herself, she lied to protect him.

If I've always wanted to know what makes a psychotic criminal's mind operate the way it does, I've now added a new curiosity. How do the people around the psychotic criminal come to grips with their role in the life of one so sociapathic?

I love going to the movies - it opens my eyes to whole new directions for viewing the world. . .

New Things-Exploring the World While You Can

2009-07-17T21:47:00.003-04:00

I used to read books, identify those that made an impact on my life and cherish those books forever, planning to read them again in the future, perhaps several times. To be honest, there are many books where that has been the case. I have gone back, five or ten years after the first read, to read again and rediscover what inspired me in that book.

A college professor once told me, "To read is to re-read," meaning that the first time through was just to get an idea of what the book was about. The second time through was when you were actually reading the book and discovering what the author had to say to you.

At this point in my life, I realize that there are far more books available to me than I will ever have time to read. Suddenly, I don't have time to re-read; I must move on before I run out of time.

I feel that way about many things. Life is short and it's later than you think. I feel I must pick up speed and enjoy as much of this world as I can while I can. The clock is ticking and each year passes by much more quickly than the one before.

This is not meant to be a morbid thought. It is a reality, both harsh and joyful at the same time. Harsh because realizing that our time is limited is sobering. Joyful because realizing that our time is limited is exhilarating.

It's time, once again, to seek out a new thing to enjoy. I am far behind and have a lot of catching up to do.

Don't Make Excuses

2009-07-15T21:46:00.002-04:00

We live in a world that seeks to reduce everyone and everything to the lowest common denominator. We've lowered the acceptable requirements to be "good enough." Our standards for everything from test grades in school to cars coming off the assembly line are abysmally weak.

I, for one, am tired of it. I don't want anyone to let me off the hook. If the goal is 100 percent, I don't want an "atta girl" for 75 percent. I hold my own feet to the fire when it comes to personal expectations. I want people to have high expectations of me. And I expect to deliver.

Mediocrity is not an admirable goal. Granted, none of us can be the best at everything all the time. But failure or mediocre results should be acknowledged for what they are - not rewarded as if great deeds have taken place.

Where is the incentive to excel if average performance reaps maximum rewards?

Society has gotten it into its head that fragile egos must be protected from criticism at all costs. This has given rise to the current "entitlement" generation who think everything should be handed to them just because they occupy a space on the planet. Everyone on every team gets a trophy - win or lose. Everyone gets a passing grade and moves on to the next level.

There is no incentive to excel if the payoff is the same for the guy that simply shows up with a bad attitude and puts forth little or no effort. A trophy is meaningless to the winning team - the losers have one too. An "A" or "B" has no value when students scoring in the 60 percentile range receive a passing grade as well.

I have high expectations for myself and those around me. I wish I could make that concept an infectious diesease and spread it around.

A Perfect Score

2009-07-14T20:47:00.002-04:00

I am not a fan of standardized testing in schools, in business settings or anywhere else for that matter. I know the school system seems to feel this is a great measurement device for determining just how much a student has absorbed of a given block of material, but I am living proof that there are a few flaws in that system.

Some people test well, others poorly. I, for one, am a wizz-bang at test taking. It has little or nothing to do with acquired knowledge. In fact, I recently took a multiple choice, standardized test in a workplace setting without having even looked at the subject material. I felt confident in doing that because I knew I could retake the test if necessary. The goal was to get 80 percent, even if the test had to be taken several times.

As I said, I did not read the material. I did not glance at the material. I did not even have access to the material prior to taking the test for the first time. My score? 93 percent. A fluke you say? Nope, I test well and that's all there is to it.

I took my SATs for college admittance during the beginning of my sophomore year in high school. We were allowed to do that, again with the understanding that we could try again the following year to improve our scores. Out of a possible 1600 points, for those of you familiar with the SATs, I scored a very respectable 1310. More than sufficient for admittance to any of the colleges I was interested in or could afford. I didn't need to bother with a re-take.

My point is, I'm not a genius by any stretch of the imagination. I just test well. Others don't. Bottom line, some of those poor testing specimens are much more knowledgeable than I am about all sorts of things.

The test of knowledge is in the action, not in rote memorization of facts and figures. Knowledge is the ability to think and seek out information, not the ability to be a walking dictionary.

The educational process often seeks expediency over accomplishment. That, in my humble opinion, is the one major flaw in education today.

Growing Up with Michael Jackson

2009-06-29T21:00:00.002-04:00

I have noted the death of Michael Jackson with a huge amount of nostalgia. You see, Michael and I were very close in age, with me being just a bit older. I remember the young Michael of the Jackson 5 with my childlike fascination of him and his song "ABC." I never thought the "J 5" even came close to being my favorite group. In that era I much preferred the Monkees or even the Partridge Family.

Still, as I grew, so did Michael. His talents as a singer and as a dancer reached the stratosphere. Even those with no real appreciation for his particular brand of music would be lying if they said Michael Jackson was lacking in talent in those areas. The "Thriller" album ranks high in every collection of popular music in the twentieth century. The videos of Michael Jackson will forever be among the most innovative and well designed of their time or of any other.

By my own, admittedly limited, standards, his song "Billie Jean" is clearly the best of the best work that he contributed to his industry. Every image of Michael Jackson that ever passes through my brain contains at least a few flashbacks of that video, with Michael displaying that superior footwork that helped make him the king of his musical era.

My tastes have grown and evolved over the years (okay, decades. . .), but I, along with millions the world over, will miss Michael Jackson and his eccentric, tabloid style existence. In spite of his quirky, possibly insane, way of coping in the world, the man was a talented genius who will not easily be replaced in style, skill, talent or level of expression.

His passing brings my own mortality just that much closer. It is good to be reminded that it is later than we think. That, in addition to the memories of his great music, is Michael Jackson's final gift to us all.

Hello Summer

2009-06-25T22:35:00.003-04:00

In these first gorgeous days of summer, just let me say - "Welcome back, my long, lost friend!" I love summer. I love everything about it. I love heat, I love sun, I love summer rain. I may not love humidity, but it comes with the package from time to time, therefore I will accept it.

I feel myself soaking up the glorious heat, storing it away for some bleak day in January when I have forgotten what the sun even looks like. Daylight arrives so early and lasts so long these days that I almost feel I am never asleep. Strange, summer-induced insomnia has no ill effects on me whatsoever. I want to take in every moment of it before it fades away once again some crisp fall morning.

Summer brings to me every hope, dream and aspiration that ever possessed me in my lifetime and makes everything seem possible and new once again. The most youthful part of my being exists right now, each year, in these few wonderful months where the sun rises high in the sky, the air is warm and inviting and there is a lightness in my step that surprises even me.

Yes, welcome home, dear summer. You were well worth the wait.

Simplicity

2009-06-15T21:25:00.002-04:00

By some standards, I live a simple life. I eat and sleep, work and play, make time for my husband, go to the gym. I have interests and ambitions. I like to know what's going on in the world. Yet, somehow, I often view the world as a complicated mess with me stuck squarely in the middle of it all.

I don't want the deserted island scenario, to be sure. Yet, somehow, I am always searching for a simpler world. So, what do I throw overboard? I need my job, I like my married life, I have to go to the gym or risk being a flabby, weak, little old lady some day in the not too distant future.

And so, it seems, I am stuck with my lot in life. The "things" of my world aren't the problem. The "people" of my world aren't the problem either. The problem, the real source of clutter in my world, is noise. Everywhere I turn, someone has something to say, whether I want to hear it or not. Should I be an informed citizen or a closed off recluse with no contact to the outside world?

Neither scenario is simple and workable. Everybody wants a piece of me. And, sad to say, pretty much everyone gets a piece of me in one form or another.

Simplicty is not so simple after all. Just an observation, I'm afraid. Tomorrow I will face another day, and the script will be pretty much the same.

Humility versus Arrogance

2009-06-09T21:43:00.002-04:00

A good man, who is a close member of my family, is facing what will likely be the final struggles of his life right now. A grueling major surgery for a cancer that cannot be cured was followed by a massive stroke. At the age of 84, my fear is he will not be strong enough to rally and fight back hard enough to win. He will leave this world with a greater faith and more strength than almost anyone I have known on my walk in life.

He is a humble man. In his life he did not know wealth or fame or fortune. But I can tell you for a fact, he knew happiness. He is a man of God, unshakable in his faith. He loved his God, his family, his work and his friends. He labored hard in his life and took great pride in the labor of his hands.

For me, he has epitomized everything that is great in humanity. That virtue I will sum up in his humility. He is great, but he would never have said that. He is smart, but he was always eager to listen and learn from others. He has never needed to push his way to the forefront of life. But, for me, he will always be there.

I place this man ahead of every arrogant, self-serving, "Hey, look at me!" person I have every encountered.

Greatness is what I find in someone, not what they try to tell me exists in them. In one humble, kind man I have found this greatness. He will always hold a place of honor in my heart.

A Salute to Susan Boyle

2009-06-01T20:37:00.003-04:00

So, the angelic voice of Susan Boyle has been relegated to the number two position by those "in the know" who judge such things on the basis of an artificial facade or a false set of standards. Instead, top honors have been awarded to some group by the name of "Diversity" who have apparently conformed to the mold a little more closely.

Sigh . . . I have only one thought here. That is to salute Ms. Boyle on her magnificent talent. She is number one in this silly amateur review of wannabees, could-have beens, and never-had-a-chances. Next week, when "Diversity" slips into the background, Ms. Boyle will continue to ring out as the voice of every aspiring hope and dream that has never been allowed to see the light of day. She will be remembered for what she brought to the heart of every human being blessed to hear her voice - the chance to "dream a dream. . ."

The world will not be so lax as to let this huge talent slip into obscurity once again, of that I am sure. This dream has been unleashed and, like Pandora's box, the lid cannot be closed again.

Best of luck to you, Ms. Boyle. You have risen to the height of greatness by doing what you love to do. Fame and fortune will follow. This minor disappontment will be only a slight smudge on the stellar record of your emerging career.

I eagerly await your next move.

Spring Cleaning

2009-05-25T20:06:00.003-04:00

My stuff has taken over once again. I was losing control there for awhile. The inanimate objects were starting to fill up every nook and cranny around me. I think I've caught it in time though. Every now and then I get a strong urge to bulldoze through my stuff and clear a trail.

That is the mindset I'm working with right now. Closets, drawers, storage areas, even the garage will be no match for me during the next few weeks. I can feel myself breathing more deeply already. It's that heady aroma of being in control. I feel like a decision maker when the fate of what shall stay and what shall go is in my hands.

Ahh. . . Look out, here I come. I'm not planning on taking any prisoners this time!

Vacation Souvenirs

2009-05-19T21:43:00.002-04:00

The best souvenir I bring back from vacation is that same one, every time I go away. No matter where I have gone, no matter how long I've been away, I come back with the same thing. And so, as I lounged in a hammock overlooking Charleston Harbor, in Charleston South Carolina a few days ago, I contemplated that same souvenir. It's nothing as simple as a seashell on the beach or the sweetgrass baskets woven by hand from the locals.

No, once again I have gathered my renewed enthusiasm for the life I live for most of the 365 days of each year. I have taken the time to unload my mind of hundreds of puny little details and can once again identify the goals and purpose that I have assigned to my life.

Five days at the fantastic Charleston Harbor Resort and Marina have renewed, refreshed and reinvigorated my spirit. It all started simply enought. Just a few clicks on Expedia.com and my husband and I had an incredibly affordable trip for two, including air fare and a very comfortable Chevy Impala, to a premiere resort facility that boasts every amenity I could possible require.

My husband, if seems, requires little more than a subject on which to focus his amateur camera lens. No problem there. He got his fill a the nearby beautiful Brookgreen Gardens in Murrells Inlet, the Charleston Tea Plantation and the historic venue of Fort Sumter.

I was once again reminded of my relatively inconsequential existence as I gazed out at the Atlantic Ocean. Pelicans strutted about as if they owned the joint. Water craft of every description filled the harbor waters from sail boats to mega-ton freighters bringing in their wares from China.

Yep, it's clear to me that my position in the overall scheme of things is something on par with the sand crabs or the ocean minnows. It's good that I am once again put in my place. If I don't take myself too seriously it's much easier to find satisfaction in my accomplishments and efforts.

A few days away from my daily routine have made me a new woman. Well, maybe not a new woman, but a refreshed woman. Look out world, I've got something to say.

Benefits of a Global Recession

2009-05-14T20:44:00.003-04:00

We are all aware that the world is struggling with economic concerns. Many of us have been slapped in the face with the cold, hard reality of job loss, losing our homes, credit issues, retirement fears or simply the fear of what may lie ahead. No one likes what is going on and no one really knows for sure when or how this will all work out.

Being one who likes to look for the silver lining in every situation, I think I can honestly say I have found it. As I watch the people around me try to cope with the new world economy and wonder if they will be able to maintain (or recover) their standard of living, when or even if, they will ever retire and generally wonder what their world will look like in six months or six years, I have started to notice something.

People are starting to live for today. Instead of buying the big house they will be paying off for the rest of their lives, going into debt for cars, vacations or eleborate stuff, they are starting to look at their lives today and find a better way to live.

A co-worker was planning for retirement this year but, with the changing tides of the economy, now realizes this fantasy will not come to pass for a very long time and has decided to enjoy her job and the life it is providing right now. She's not planning out the next thirty years of her life (she realizes they may not be hers to enjoy). Instead she's living in the moment. Taking life and its simple pleasures as they come to her each day - and, perhaps not surprisingly, she looks happier than she has for quite a while.

Funny, when a burden starts to become too heavy, instead of letting it crush us, if we just let it go we may find ourselves liberated.

When Walking the Walk Equals Talking the Talk

2009-05-03T16:07:00.002-04:00

There is a popular cliche that makes the rounds on the regular basis whenever people are talking about doing what they say they are going to do. That saying is rephrased a bit, depending on who is using it, but it basically goes, "Don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk."

I like that phrase, but the more I think about it, the less I think it applies to my way of looking at things. Actually, I don't have much use for anyone who is "talking the talk" on any subject. Talk is cheap, to coin another overused phrase. In still another favorite cliche of mine, "When all is said and done, more gets said than done."

Promise me the world. Tell me you plan to write a novel, feed the hungry, mow the lawn or run for president. Your words will basically fall on deaf ears with me. Now, take a writing class, submit your work for publication, work at the soup kitchen, donate money to a starving third world country, start up the lawn mower or gather names on a petition to start your campaign - I'm all ears.

If I can see your efforts, it will carry much more weight with me than if I simply hear the vague promises of what you think you might like to someday do about something.

So, if your words say one thing and your actions say another, rest assured I will be believing what I see and ignoring what I hear. In fact, if you spend too much time "talking the talk" I will assume you are nothing more than a talking head and won't hold out much hope at all for any future action on your part.

For me, the phrase has now become, "I am walking the walk." If you want to know what I'm all about, don't ask me, watch me.

In a Growth Spurt

2009-04-30T20:23:00.003-04:00

I remember having them as a child. You know, those periods of time where you grow a few inches, gain a few pounds and, overall, expand and develop. It was empowering to grow and move forward to adulthood. Somehow, growth spurts were mile stones of life that showed the world you were moving upward and onward.

After I reached adulthood I didn't give too much thought to the growth spurt concept for a long time. But lately, I'm feeling the flow of the growth spurt in myself once again. Oh, I'm definitely done growing. My weight is stable and I'm certain there is no additional physical development on my agenda. I'm well established in my career, my marriage and my life in general.

So, where is this growth spurt? It's a mental thing. I'm expanding in many different areas of personal fulfillment. I've achieved some successful writing goals. My personal trainer is successfully encouraging me to "push myself until I fail" (a new concept for me that I find empowering in so many ways). I'm dabbling in Yoga, Weight Training and expanded cooking experimentation.

I am growing! And I'm loving every minute of it. Fortunately, I have a spouse who just grins and nods in agreement when I state that I want to redecorate the spare room (already set up as an exercise room) to more fully meet my needs and desires for working on my Yoga poses and weight lifting routines.

Growing doesn't stop at age 12 or 16 or 18. Growth, if you're lucky and keep an open mind, can go on for 80 or 90 years. I plan to push myself until I fail. . .

This Place in Time

2009-04-21T20:36:00.002-04:00

As a child, I thought I might live pretty much forever. The age of thirty seemed old to me, so the concept of living to be eighty or ninety meant I might as well start looking around for Methuselah as my next door neighbor.

When I reached the age of thirty, I was still sure I could live another eon or so. Decades stretched before me as long and winding pathways of opportunity. The idea of time or life or physical abilities impairing my progress on the road of life never felt like a threat to me.

Now, I have seen another decade or two pass by. Funny thing, I still feel like I have an enormous amount of future before me. Oh, intellectually I understand the limitations of life but, philosophically I have come to understand that I have exactly the same amount of time to live now as I have always had. I have right now, this minute, this experience.

As long as I live in the present I am as close to being immortal as I can ever hope to be. What a liberating thought.

Push Until You Fail

2009-04-15T19:31:00.003-04:00

I've taken a lot of inspiration lately from the near genius words spoken to me by my personal trainer. Early on in our relationship together she spoke the life-changing words that haunt my thoughts every day of my life.

"I want you to push yourself until you fail."

There it is. Simple. Straightforward. Totally contradictory to everything I've ever been told before. In an era of "Dress for success," "Give it your best shot" and "Get straight "A's" on your report card" I am now confronted with the deepest philosophical advice of my lifetime.

How will you know how much you can achieve, how far you can push yourself or how smart you are if you stop while you're on top? The only way to realize your limitations is to push forward until your efforts are met with failure.

If you've succeeded in everything you've ever tried to do, you've set your sites too low. If you've always been the recipient of "A" grades in school, you weren't taking hard enough classes or you were participating in a weak educational program.

Success comes from being challenged. You overcome obstacles by fighting straight through the middle of them, not by skirting around the sides or being handed the solution to your problem.

So, here is a salute to everyone out there who has tried . . . and failed. You are the one who is the success in life. You are the one who knows how far you can go before being beaten back. You are the one with the tenacity to pick yourself up and push forward again, hopefully gaining a little more ground in the process.

Find your limits. Push yourself until you fail.

That Which Doesn't Kill Us . . .

2009-03-31T21:43:00.003-04:00

You know how it ends, That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And so it is with my new found relationship with my personal trainer. It's been three months now. Three months of pushing myself beyond any level I ever expected to achieve. Three months of being pushed to twist my body into positions I never thought possible. In short, it's been three months of turning my life over to a drill sergeant of a woman who, she constantly assures me, has nothing but my best interests at heart. Or, at least she would have my best interests at heart if she actually had a heart.

That diabolical laugh notwithstanding, my trainer has inspired me far beyond the desire to bring my physical condition to a level never before seen in my lifetime. My trainer has provided me with the new mantra for my life - the words that will carry over to every goal I ever aspire to achieve for the rest of my life.

Her words - "I want you to push yourself to the point of failure."

There it is. How much can I do? I'll never know until I reach the point where I can't go on.

Can I leg press 100 lbs.? Yes, I can. And when I do she is looking for 120 lbs to be recorded on my progress chart.

Can I assume the position of the Bound Extended Side Angle in Yoga class? Yes, I can. Next goal is the side plank with both legs fully extended.

Can I accomplish more today than I did yesterday? Apparently so. I haven't found the goal I can't exceed yet. Maybe I can't get there today. But when I come back to it tomorrow, I will inch a little closer to the finish line.

This philosophy has spilled over into other parts of my life. What a bonus! A personal trainer and a life, coach, all for the price of one.

How far can I go? I won't know until I can't go any further.

Still Going Strong

2009-03-25T21:49:00.002-04:00

So, here it is, nearly the end of March. I'm proud to report that my biggest resolution, to join the gym and work at building a better level of physical fitness for myself, is still going strong. I have been logging five or six hours of gym time per week and I consider that to be pretty good.

I have a personal trainer. She has done wonders to inspire me. Her nickname for me is "marshmallow." Perhaps I should be insulted, but I'm not. Actually, I think marshmallows have a little more substance and firmness than my abs did the first week I started at the gym. So, I'm going to consider that a compliment.

My trainer has given me a piece of philosophical advice that will inspire me far beyond the walls of the gym. She told to push myself to the point of failure. Think about it. How do any of us know how much we can do until we reach the point where we can't do more?

She started me leg pressing 70 lbs. That may not sound like a lot to the jock types out there, but I was quaking in fear at the prospect the first day. About every week or so I add more weight to this (and many other exercise machines). The day I pressed 100 lbs. I was proud to report my progress. Her response? - I know you can do that. You can press 120 lbs.

I wasn't expecting to become a body builder out of this. But I find myself setting, reaching and resetting my goals. How far can I go? I won't know until I fail.

In Search of a Reason . . .

2009-01-08T19:03:00.003-05:00

In this new year I am, once again, juggling the list of resolutions I have vowed to keep. I am working to perfect the imperfect being that is me. I know all the right moves, all the good ideas, all the new methods to improve every area of my life that is lacking. I know what to do. How could I not? I resolve and vow and plan to improve myself on a regular basis - New Year's Day, the beginning of spring, in September with the return to school mentality that has always brought with it the concept of new beginnings, on my birthday. . .

Have I improved any? Hmmm . . . let's see. I'm older, marginally wiser (with age comes wisdom, no matter what), I've taken up some new endeavors, I've dropped some worn out concepts. Yeah, those are improvements. I doubt that any of these changes (improvements?) are the result of direct action on my part. Mostly, I have just evolved, as everyone does.

That being the case, what purpose is served with my never-ending attempts to resolve to make changes, to make tomorrow a different day from today, to be a "better person."

It's time to redefine the concept of a "resolution." Instead of resolving to change, from this point forward I will seek a reason. A reason to continue in the same path I am already treading. A reason to do a complete about-face. A reason to add, subtract or eliminate activities, behaviors or thoughts from my life.

Having a reason sounds much more purposeful than making a resolution. A reason gives meaning and direction for the future. A resolution sounds a little too much like an excuse. . . "I weigh too much; I resolve to diet and exercise." . . . "I don't make enough money; I resolve to find a new job." . . . "I don't like my life; I resolve to change." Excuses, every one.

Instead, "I am going to walk every day during my lunch hour because it will be good for my health and help me to clear my head." . . . "I going to start writing that book I always wanted to write because I have something to say and I need to share my views with the world." . . . "I'm going to move to another part of the country because it's time to get on with my life."

A reason seems more attainable than a resolution. A reason has purpose, definition and a clear goal. It's time to get to work on the "New Year's Reasons."

When to Let Go of Tradition

2008-12-16T20:55:00.002-05:00

As a child, the holidays were a special time of excitement, surprises, secrets and preparation for big gatherings of family and friends. For some reason there seemed to be a lot more family and friends to share that time with. One of the most memorable and satisfying traditions for me was baking cookies.

My mother was a wonderful baker. Baking wasn't just reserved for the holidays, mind you. We regularly enjoyed homemade breads, pies, cakes, cinnamon rolls and even, on occasion, donuts. Ah, but there was something special about the baking that occurred at the approach to the holidays.

My mother possessed the most wonderful collection of cookie recipes that I have ever been able to imagine. I have them all. Every delicious thumb print, cut out cookie, drop cookie, filled cookie and everything else in between. The smell of cookies in the house didn't just occur while she was baking. There reached a point where the wonderful smells of peanut butter, chocolate and cookie batter took over the entire house and there was no way to eradicate it, if any crazy person might ever want to try.

Time and life and maybe even a little self-control got in the way over the years. When my mother was no longer there to orchestrate the baking, and the family and friends were spread more far and wide and less likely to gather in one place to indulge in the results of the annual bake-fest, the mass cookie frenzy began to take a back seat. It became easier to purchase a tray of assorted cookies for holiday get togethers. Cheaper, too.

This year, I felt the stirring desire to go back to my roots. At least as far as the old time baking tradition went. So, I went out and purchased the flour, the sugar, the baking powder and soda. I loaded up on chocolate chips, colored candies, icings and fruit fillings. I set to work in my kitchen and dug out the tattered and worn recipes.

My mission was a success, I suppose. I made cookies. Lots of cookies. Different cookies. Good cookies.

But, and I know many of you will know where I'm going here, it wasn't the same. When all was said and done, I had a lot of cookies. But I didn't have the holiday spirit of days gone by. Truth be told, it wasn't nearly as much fun as I remember it being. It was actually quite a bit of work.

This tradition, for me, is now one that I am ready to lay to rest. I will return to the assorted tray of purchased cookies for my holiday gatherings. They are, in fact, quite delicious. My time and my mind have moved into other directions. That's okay. It's good to know when a tradition has outlived its place in life.

Have the Holidays Changed for you?

2008-12-10T21:59:00.002-05:00

Each year I approach the holiday season with a mixture of anticipation and dread. Anticipation because I am looking for that "gift." You know the one, the one that makes the meaning of life clear. The one that will, somehow, complete me. There are many religious explanations of what that gift should be, but somehow I haven't seen the completion of that promise at the holiday season.

The holiday season, in my lifetime, has evolved into a highly commercialized three-ring circus. This, I think, is what has lead me to the other side of the holiday season for me - dread.

I dread the idea of failing to live up to the expectations of others who are expecting something from me that I don't think I possess. It's more than the gift wrapped up in the pretty box. It's more than a festive attitude and a "party hardy" outlook on life.

I just don't know what that "more" consists of. I'm missing something here. And from conversations with others, I know that I am not alone.

Does anyone know the fulfillment of this season? What rock should I look under to find it?

Technology Overload and What it has Done to Me

2008-11-28T14:50:00.005-05:00

I remember life when televisions were black and white, channels were changed by hand, and "rabbit ears" were the method of fine tuning the three network channels that existed. I remember rotary dial telephones. I remember the days before microwave ovens, digital cameras and computers. I remember, and fully understand, how to use the Dewey Decimal System in the library to find information.

In short, I was around before the technological surge took over the world. I've adapted pretty well, I think. I surf the internet, I write two blogs, I am wobbling in my efforts to build a website. I have a digital camera, a microwave oven and a cellphone.

I understand and accept that time marches on and I must march along with it or fall behind forever.

For all that I have gained with technology, I have lost something as well. I have lost single-minded concentration - the ability to focus on just one thing and stay focused until I have completed a task.

Nowadays, I skim text for highlights instead of reading it for full meaning, I "nuke" portions of recipes and sometimes my entire meal in order to save time that I can use for other high-speed activities, I DVR movies on television for future reference so that I can watch them without being bothered by the interference of commercials.

Thanks to technology, I'm in a big hurry but I have nowhere to go. Multi-tasking has taken over my brain. Instead of sitting down to read a book, I brush over the highlights while my brain is in three different areas at once. I see others talk on the cell phone while shopping, driving or spending time with their families.

And don't bother trying to talk to your family, friends or neighbors about the state of the world, that is, unless you want to call them on the cellphone, interrupt their current call with the call waiting feature on their phone, and tell them you are on your way to the mall. For some reason, we all need to know the whereabouts of everyone we know at all times. The "techno-leash" is ideal for this purpose.

At a dinner party in my home a week ago, dinner was interrupted nine times by inane cell phone calls - not life or death calls, mind you - just silly "checking in" calls to make sure everybody is exactly where they should be. These calls may have to be reinforced in another half hour - hey, you never know when your cousin Matilda may be spirited away by aliens. Perpetual cell phone calls keeps her safe.

Seriously, I miss the time it used to take to read a good book, to cook Thanksgiving dinner from scratch and to watch a great old movie, commercials and all, on a Sunday afternoon.

Technology is great. I won't deny it. But I think I'm going to go read a book right now and turn off everything I own that runs by electricity, airwaves or internet power.

Traditions - New and Old

2008-11-23T15:04:00.003-05:00

Now that the holidays are upon us once again, many of us will be resorting to some of the tried and true traditions of our lives. We will drag out the cookbook, you know the one, with all the old family recipes in it that we haven't used since this time last year. Grandma's gravy recipe, Aunt Vivian's special stuffing, the green bean casserole we've always made that no one really likes but, hey, it's traditional. We will pull out the decorations for our homes. One or two may be relics from a grandparent, or even a great-grandparent.

Traditions are great. They tie us to the past. They bring back memories, both good and bad, of years gone by. They make us feel close to friends and family that may not be with us this year; that may never be with us again. This is a large part of what the holiday season means to many people.

This year, why not break the mold a little. Okay, don't break it exactly, just put a little crack in it. Start a new tradition with the people you celebrate the holidays with. Try a new recipe. Gather people around you for a different type of party. Give something of yourself to those less fortunate this holiday season in a way you've never done it before.

Tradition is a wonderful thing. Do something wonderful this year that you have not done before and make it a tradition to carry on into the future. That's the great thing about traditions; they are personal choices we all make to determine what we want to hold onto in each successive holiday of our lives.

I Object

2008-11-16T18:52:00.003-05:00

I don't think I've spent my life complaining about the ways things should be. I pretty much took the world as it was and made the best of circumstances as they existed for me.

Recently, however, the world as I have known it is becoming off-center. People, places and things are not following the course of action to which I have grown accustomed. The gap between the way things are and the way things should be is widening at an alarming rate.

At this point, I would almost like to start complaining. But I won't. General purpose complaining is a waste of time. A complaint that is not followed with an act of resolution is only more of a problem, not a solution.

If anything, my next goal should be to establish a list of corrective actions that I might follow to try to make adjustments in the chaotic scheme of things around me.

I realize, for the most part, I am powerless to alter the course of world events. But I am not powerless to alter the course of my events. I can't change the volatile stock market, but I can make some adjustments in my personal portfolio and restructure my savings plan. I can't influence the spiking gasoline prices and the effect they have on the prices I am paying in the grocery store, but I can plan to make better use of my driving habits and plan meals with an eye towards economy. I can't change the behavior of other people, but maybe if I change my behavior towards them, a change in the dynamics of the relationship may occur.

To paraphrase the words of an old Billy Joel song, "I didn't start the fire. . ." It's easy to look around and point out what's wrong. The world doesn't need my help there. Instead, I think I'll try to find a way to make something right.

This Awesome Night

2008-11-04T20:02:00.003-05:00

In my home state of Pennsylvania the polls have just closed. Oh, there may be a few people out there still standing in line to fulfill their constitutional right to vote as long as they got in line before the polls officially closed but, all in all, to coin an old cliche, "It's all over but the shouting."

I don't know the outcome at the moment I am writing this. Oh, I suspect the outcome, but I don't expect to have that verified until, perhaps, tomorrow.

I am relieved. I am pleased. Whatever the outcome, it is time to move forward. CHANGE is here. One way or another, we have turned a page in the history book of the United States and the world. There is either an African American President or a female vice-president of the United States of America. Either option is a first.

There's a lot of work ahead. We are ready to move on. We have a new leader in place to do so. I, along with everyone else, have waited in anticipation to see what will happen next.

Let the new world begin.

It Will CHANGE No Matter What

2008-11-02T21:10:00.004-05:00

We are now in the final hours before the 2008 Presidential Election in the United States will go down in the history books. The theme of this election campaign has been CHANGE. It doesn't matter if the Republicans are speaking or the Democrats. The idea is the same. Things aren't working very well right now and CHANGE is what we need.

And CHANGE is what we will have. In that regard, it doesn't matter who wins. I have my own opinions and preferences, but I must say, come what may, no matter whether the next president of the United States is Barack Obama or John McCain, we will see CHANGE.

On Wednesday, November 5th, when all the rhetoric is behind us, when hopes have been fulfilled or dreams have been dashed, when those who backed the winner are cheering and those who backed the loser are sullen and morose, I hope we can all remember one thing. . .

We will have CHANGE. We need CHANGE. And CHANGE will begin on that day. We will all need to get over our partisan politics and stop casting aspersions on anyone and everyone who voted differently, who looks differently, or who follows a different agenda.

It's time to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get on with the business of living and working towards a stronger economy and a better society. Don't let any negativity stand in the way of the future. It's going to be tough enough as it is, without warring factions creating more division.

What Makes a Good Employee?

2008-10-31T21:03:00.005-04:00

We have reached a point in society where, like the Eskimos of days gone by, we are trying to float our aging population out to sea on an iceberg to die. That's just a metaphor, but it makes a point.

In this age of youth, beauty, anorexic thinness, and rock-star personalities, we have lost sight of the value of maturity, experience, education, fortitude and old-fashioned work ethics.

Age Discrimination, although illegal on the books, is a very issue in the employment world. Any time you have a 22 year old competing for the same job as a 52 year old, I think the odds on favorite for employment will be the 22 year old. And it's not a matter of economics. Not all 52 year olds seeking employment are demanding exhorbitant salaries and not all 22 year olds seeking employment are willing to "start in the mailroom."

In fact, by and large, 22 year olds are of the opinion that they should earn a lot, be expected to do a minimal amount, and figure on looking for a "better" job in two or three years after they add one more notch to their resume.

How does this benefit the employer? What is it that blinds an employer to the value of hiring a mature worker who is far more likely to remain employed at that company ten years from now than the 22 year old that just got hired?

A good employee is one who is talented, experienced, educated, motivated, honest, loyal and knows how to get the job gone. Take a good, hard look at the mature job seekers who come knocking on your door, Mr. Employer. You will find the traits you are looking for and the payback to you will be worth it.

Give it a try. You have nothing to lose and a dedicated, hard-working employee to gain.

Pet Peeve - Inflated Price/Deflated Product

2008-10-20T20:08:00.002-04:00

There is a new, or at least much more prevalent, method for inflating the price of everything we buy these days. It's a little more sneaky than simply adding a dime or a dollar or a hundred dollars to the price of something we regularly purchase. Suddenly there is a huge amount of "deflation" going on.

Check out your favorite box of crackers. You may find the one in your pantry at home weighs 16 ounces. You're out at the store buying a new box, the price is the same but, hmmm . . . it's only 14 ounces now. What happened?

Same thing holds true for cans of soup, your favorite candy bar, even bottled beverages. The price is holding, but the size is shrinking.

I don't know which bothers me more - Higher prices or smaller packaging. Seems to work against the popular "green" philosophy where we should be trying to eliminate packaging that ends up in landfills and pollutes our lives forever. If I buy a smaller box, I will be buying that item sooner, resulting in twice as much excess packaging material.

No way around it, I guess. We are definitely part of an inflationary spiral.

Don't Stop Now!

2008-10-18T11:23:00.002-04:00

People like to complete things. We like to be finished with our school year, our school career, our educational requirements. We like to be finished with the work day, the work week, the work year, our careers, and heading off into retirement. We like to put the holiday season behind us; we're glad when winter is over; we can't wait to stop whatever it is we're doing right now so we can move on to the next stuff.

This is a bit of the "grass is greener" phenomenon. Somehow, the thing we aren't yet doing will be better, more exciting, and more to our liking than the thing we are doing right now. The problem with this is that, eventually, we get to the end of the line with all the possibilities of things to come and our lives are over. With 20/20 vision we look back and see that we had a blast in school, we loved being teenagers, our job was very fulfilling, our young family life was a treasure, and even the trips to the mall at the holidays were a lot of fun.

Whatever you're doing today, don't stop. Don't wait for the next, better, event to come along. Right here, right now, something is going on in your life that you will treasure and hold as a beloved memory of your lifetime. You will not pass this way again in exactly the same way. To use yet another cliche, "stop and smell the roses." Even the bad days have some spark of passion and power in them. You may have to look hard sometimes, but life, on the whole, is pretty darn exciting.

Keep on going until you can't go any more. Don't push this aside in favor of something unknown that you hope is coming. Just jump in with both feet and don't look back.

A Call for Sanity

2008-10-13T18:41:00.002-04:00

We are drawing to a close on the 2008 Presidential Election in the United States. The issues are hot. The candidates are even hotter. The insults, innuendos and allegations are flying from every direction. I would just like to say one thing to both candidates and to everyone associated with them. Please stop.

Stop the verbal assaults on each other. Stop vilifying the other party. Stop accusing the other guy of being out to destroy the world. I only have a little more time to figure out what I can expect of the next president; I don't want to hear about alleged communist leanings, ties to George Wallace politics, or associations with unsavory characters thirty years ago.

If you were applying for a job and I was interviewing you, would you sit there and tell me what was wrong with every other applicant out there in the waiting room? I don't think so. You would use that few minutes of my attention that you were commanding to show me that you were the best candidate for the position and that I should look no further.

It does not help to even mention the other guy's name in political ads. Why on earth would you want to make me think about him at all? Repeat your name until it bounces off my brain. Sell yourself! I don't want to vote for the lesser of two evils. I want the best. Convince me that the person fitting that description is you.

-Paid for by InMyVoice.blogspot.com- The views expressed are solely those of the author.

Your Decision Please . . .

2008-10-10T21:02:00.002-04:00

Each day the news reports on a variety of political polls that show the percentage of people who plan to vote for Barack Obama in the upcoming Presidential election, the percentage who plan to vote for John McCain, and the percentage who fall into that mystery quagmire known as the "undecided."

At this stage of the election campaign process I dare say that there is probably next to no one who is truly undecided. There are those who hide behind the shield of "undecided" to avoid getting into a political debate with someone of the opposite view. There may even be those who are ashamed of the reason they are making the decision they are making - perhaps they are still voting their party line automatically or they have biases or prejudices they would prefer not to reveal.

I'll buy the avoidance excuse - but undecided - Nope, I don't think so. The problems the next administration must face are huge and ugly. The solutions to those problems may get ugly. The sides have been formed and the proverbial line in the sand has been drawn.

I have a strong preference for who wins, but I must say at this point, if my favorite doesn't win, I truly hope that everyone who sees the issues my way will lay down their sword and rally behind the next president of the United States. This world needs a unified front.

Get out there and vote on November 4th! And on November 5th, stand up and support the next president of the United States! Whether you voted for him or not, he will need all the help he can get to lead us out of this mess.

My Stock Market Fears

2008-10-07T20:30:00.003-04:00

Like a large portion of the world, I have been watching the turbulence of the stock market. Also, like many Americans, much of my money and my retirement resources are tied up in this crazy financial roller-coaster. I must admit, I am a little nervous.

Nervous, but not running scared. I've been through the ups and downs of the market before. So far I have come out of it better off than I was before. I still believe that will happen this time, as well. If not, I may end up working until the day I die. Me, and most of the rest of the world as well. The stock market is about more than just investment money. It is tied to the entire way of life for the world in the twenty-first century.

Knowing that, I plan to hold on tight and watch this whole crazy thing play itself out. I'm still young enough, smart enough, and determined enough to survive in this world. In one way or another, we are all in this together. It will be alright.

A Sad State of Affairs

2008-09-29T20:40:00.002-04:00

The final weeks of the 2008 Presidential race in the United States have sunk to the worst, most abysmal level imaginable. It's hard to tell what anybody believes or what their long term goals are or even if they have any sort of a plan at all. The mud-slinging has turned into one long round of mud wrestling.

Instead of, "If elected, I promise a chicken in every pot . . .", now it's more like, "If he's elected, this country will be going to hell in a hand basket at a faster rate of speed than it was previously."

People! This is serious. The United States and the world at large are in a state of upheaval. We are all in this together!

I know these words have been spoken since the dawn of time. No one listened then. Few are listening now.

But, this is my soap box. I just want to stand here and say - Enough! It's not about power, wealth, prestige or having one up on the Joneses, the Russians, the Republicans or the Democrats.

Please, somebody, find the high road.

Time For A Change

2008-09-26T20:19:00.003-04:00

As the final days of the 2008 Presidential Election in the United States come upon us, it is clear to everyone that there are some drastic problems and the mantra of "Change" that rings out in every political campaign ad is echoing the sentiments of every person capable of rational thought.

One reassuring thought I would like to mention here. No matter what happens and no matter who wins the election in November, change will come. As Republicans blame former administrations and Democrats blame the current administration, it is clear that nobody likes the way things are going right now. And, while I do have a clear personal preference on the outcome of this election, if my candidate goes down in defeat, I am taking comfort in the fact that change will come nonetheless.

I have to believe that the world as I know it will be a better place soon. Maybe not next month, or even next year. But, to quote my late father in one of the several declarations that characterized the man, "Better days are comin'."

In my heart of hearts I believe that will be the case now. This knowledge doesn't stop me from being concerned and nervous about the immediate future, but I am reassured by the knowledge that things as they currently exist are on the way out and something better is on the way in. Things have finally gotten so bad that everyone has stopped dwelling on their own petty little problems and started to pay attention to the larger crisis that is looming.

All of this is good. It's time for a change and that change, whatever it may be, is coming just in the nick of time.

The Cost of Living

2008-09-20T19:36:00.002-04:00

On a recent trip to the grocery store, I noticed the price on a favorite brand of crackers to be $5.29. For a box of crackers! A small box, at that. On this particular trip, I chose to leave those crackers on the shelf.

A friend recently remarked that on her recent trip to the grocery store, she spent $64 and was easily able to carry the three small bags home by herself.

On those food items where the price is not noticeably going up, I am noticing that the size and weight of the package is diminishing. That means I will be shopping for those same food items that much sooner. The price increase is a little trickier to see that way.

I've seen prices rise steadily over the course of my life. I'm okay with that. It seems to be the way of a capitalistic economy. As long as I see wage inflation that goes along with cost of living inflation I figure I'll be alright.

But, therein lies the problem. The $3.99 box of crackers that now costs $5.29 represents a 25% increase in pricing. By my calculations, my salary is about 3% higher than it was one year ago. Doesn't take a genius to figure out how long I'm going to be able to survive this way.

Sure, I can forgo the crackers. They were a treat, not a necessary source of nutrients in my life. But where does it stop? I can't stop eating everything. I can't even cut back by 25% to try to make my money equal my grocery bill.

I don't have any answers here. All I know is that the current state of the world is making me nervous. The $3.63 per gallon that I paid to put gas in my car today now represents the equivalent of a new utility bill in my budget. I don't want to stop living in order to shore up money for living in the future. At this rate, my money will be worth less and less, so I might as well get as much bang for my buck as I can right now.

What I Learned from Education

2008-09-17T18:51:00.002-04:00

Back in the day, when I was a student in grade school, high school, or college, I was a good student - A great student by many standards. I was prompt with my homework, thorough in my research and top of the heap when it came to test taking. My grades reflected my achievements. Teachers liked me, my parents were proud of me and, for the most part, I liked being a student.

Funny thing, though, for as studious and "intellectual" as I was then, I am a far better "student" now. Back then, I studied because I was expected to do so. Now, I study because I have an interest in this or that and I choose to pursue gaining knowledge on my current interests. I no longer gather information to use for test taking or homework assignments, information to be used once and forgotten about next week. Now I gather information to use in functional and practical ways.

I don't do anything that I can't see a clear and specific purpose for doing. Wasn't that always the main gripe as children - "I'm never going to use this, why do I need to study _____ (fill in the black - algebra, chemistry, gym class . . .)

These days I know better. Principles of chemistry have come into play in my kitchen where I experiment on new recipes and seek out improvements in the nutritional value of the foods I prepare.

Everyone has come to understand, at long last, the value of higher level mathematics in so many areas of normal, everyday life. Anyone who uses a computer for more than e-mails knows the value of formulas.

Any musicians out there? Cord progressions are a direct correlation to mathematical formulas.

Gym class - while a royal pain and torture in the past - gave me my first information about muscles, stretching, and the value of exercise in general for my overall well-being.

So, maybe I did achieve the true value of my education. I learned what I was being taught. More importantly, I learned how to learn and study in life. I learned to never stop learning.

Growing mentally is a great gift in day to day living.

Definition of a Loser - Open Letter to Political Candidates Everywhere

2008-09-12T22:10:00.003-04:00

Politics has always been a dirty business. Apparently no one is ever good enough to stand on their own merit - They must belittle, vilify and otherwise discredit their opponents.

The 2008 Presidential election in the United States is no exception. Insults, innuendos and tales of ineptitude are flying.

I'm disappointed.

The presidential race started out with highly ethical people proclaiming their ideals and goals for the country and the world. Lately, shots are being fired from both camps.

And, you know what? I don't care who may have some suspicious friends, unruly kids, or questionable voting records. There are major problems to be addressed in the world today. I want to know what you plan to do about them if you want my vote.

If you have thirty seconds of my time on a paid political commercial, I don't want to hear what the other guy isn't, I want to know what you are.

What else am I to surmise when all you can say is that your opponent sucks eggs, therefore you are the better choice? I'll tell you what I surmise at that point. You are a loser!

Who walks into a job interview and belittles all the other applicants? If you have only one chance to make a good impression, you had better be singing your own praises. Make me forget about everyone else.

If my only option is choosing between the lesser of two evils, boy, it sure makes me question the value of my vote.

In Memory of Trees

2008-09-07T20:53:00.003-04:00

I have been the recipient of a lot of support and strength in my life. I have seen a lot that was good, a lot that was bad, and a fair amount of down-right ugly in my time on this earth. I would just like to take a moment to pause and reflect on each and every person, place or event that has shaped my life.

I don't mean to get philosophical or maudlin at this point. I just want to say that I've been aware of the course my life has taken. I think I have a pretty good idea where I should display my gratitude and where I should simply suck it up and take the blame for the faults that were mine. In many ways I am way ahead of the game.

Have you ever stopped to wonder what your fifth grade teacher really thought about you and your prospects for the future? Did your brother really hate you when you were growing up or did he just not know how to express affection? Did people tell you the truth about your abilities or just placate you with encouraging words even though they knew you were a hopeless loser?

I never really gave much thought to questions or answers such as those. It never occurred to me until recently that the road I was on could have been altered in any way by the thoughts or actions of others. I always felt like I was in control of my destiny.

Funny thing about thinking like that. Now that I see more clearly how others could have had an effect on the outcome of my life, they no longer do. I am more in control of my destiny than ever before. Like the paralytic man in the Biblical story, I can pick up my mat and walk away. I carry it all with me, every part of the past and present and will continue to do so in the future.

Thank you to every tree in the forest of my life, whether you represented good or evil, you helped to shape me and give me strength.

Another Take on Political Strategies

2008-09-03T20:30:00.003-04:00

Just a quick thought here. If the Republicans apparently feel the need to placate the American people in general, and the American female population in particular, by presenting a woman candidate for vice president, why did they pass up the obvious choice that may very well have clinched the election for them? By that obvious choice, I am referring to Condoleezza Rice, currently the Secretary of State in the Bush administration.

Dr. Rice is held in high regard within her party, within the larger political arena and throughout the world. She has been through every aspect of the political vetting process and emerged virtually unscathed. She is accomplished, intelligent and she really does have foreign policy experience. In fact, perhaps her only major fault is that she is too closely aligned to the current administration.

Is she too much of a threat? Does the idea of a truly qualified female candidate scare the political machine?

I'm hoping that her own good sense is what is keeping her away the pursuit of the ultimate glass ceiling for women in the political world. Maybe she's had enough, seen enough and put up with enough of a life in politics. Could be she's ready to turn the page in the book of her life and move on to other pursuits, where she will surely excel as she has on every other level of her life. If that's the case, more power to her.

If not, and the Republican party did not have the good sense to take a long hard look at this woman of substance, too bad for them. How they came up with this dark horse, Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska, as a vice presidential selection is still one of the great mysteries of life to a huge segment of the American population.

Our Brave New World of Politics

2008-09-01T12:02:00.002-04:00

With the race for the presidency of the United States in full swing now, we are constantly being bombarded with the facts, figures and qualifications (or lack thereof) of John McCain, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and now, Sarah Palin.

I am thrilled to be alive in a world where the next president/vice-president of the United States will consist of a previously unrepresented minority - either an African American man or a Caucasian woman will be part of the winning team. Women, while not a physical minority are still, in too many ways, a social minority.

Unfortunately, the choice of Sarah Palin as the vice-presidential choice for the Republicans is not the choice that will give women a position and a new voice in America. If she has what it takes, the Republicans better start dragging out these outstanding qualifications pretty quickly.

Being a member of the PTA does not equate to leadership experience. Having a son going to Iraq is not foreign policy experience. If anything, her son is probably more qualified in the area of foreign policy because of his military experience than Governor Palin.

Are we supposed to cheer because "every woman" has been offered up to lead the country? Yes, we must consider that she could run the show before all is said and done. One in three vice-presidents has had to assume the role of president during their term. Considering that John McCain is already 72 years old, the odds of his not surviving two terms (if he were to be elected and then re-elected in 2012) is too high to overlook.

We have to look at Sarah Palin as a potential world leader, not just a second-string politician who shows up at national events in a role of "cheer-leader".

Vice Presidential Faux Pas

2008-08-29T19:55:00.002-04:00

So, John McCain has chosen his running-mate as he aspires to seek the office of President of the United States. His vice-presidential choice is Sarah Palin, Governor of the state of Alaska.

The Republicans have chosen a woman to run as John McCain's potential second in command.

I am insulted.

I'm not insulted that a woman was selected to seek this high office. I was all about Hillary Clinton as she campaigned for her bid to the Democratic Presidential candidacy. It is long overdue for the United States of America to choose its leaders from the best and the brightest of the entire population - male and female.

I am insulted by what I perceive to be the Republican choice of a "token" woman as vice-presidential hopeful to placate all of the disgruntled women in America who were solidly behind Hillary Clinton's run for the nomination.

Sarah Palin may or may not be a capable leader, politician and overall good kid. I don't know enough about her to say. But, I don't believe it matters to the Republicans just what her credentials might be. What matters is they think that this selection will bring millions of hapless American women voters into the Republican fold because they are offering up their own female specimen.

I am insulted by this slap in the face by John McCain and his cronies who think they can change the abysmal record and platform of the Republican party by putting a skirt on it!

On second thought, maybe John McCain never really wanted to be president at all. This decision has sealed his fate.

A Case of Homesickness

2008-08-26T21:33:00.002-04:00

Recently I have been sorting through old photographs, souvenirs of good times long gone and other assorted bric-a-brac that has managed to find a permanent home in some corner of a closet or spare bedroom. No surprises really. I remember the people, places and things represented in those boxes all too well. With a moment of respect and silence I acknowledge pictures of loved ones who no longer walk this earth with me. I remember school days, homes I used to live in, and activities I used to enjoy in another time and another place.

Some of my initial reactions to seeing these memories for the first time in awhile were a mixture of sadness, longing and regret for what is gone.

It didn't take too long, though, before I began to restructure my thoughts. I have been fortunate to have such a lifetime of wonderful memories and good people with whom to share them. I am still lucky. I have many people in my current world who are worthy of those same great experiences and who will warrant a place in the memory boxes of my life. I still have great times with co-workers, friends, neighbors, family. I once read that the only person who is with us for our entire lives is ourself. We should live while we are alive.

And so, I will place those photographs, souvenirs and bric-a-brac back into their much more organized storage space. I will add to the collection as I see fit. And that is a good thing.

I choose not to long for the past. At best, my time on this earth will be too brief. I want to live while I am alive. It is good to build memories.

My Philosophy of Life

2008-08-23T19:28:00.004-04:00

I spend most of my days running in three directions at once, trying to accomplish too much from too many lists of things to do. Don't get me wrong, I love my lists. They are the cornerstone of the obsessive compulsive side of my personality. Without them I would not live in the self-imposed chaos that is my life.

But the real motto that I try to live by is much more sane. I like to call it - Evidence of Effort. You see, I know I can't do everything I think I need to do every single day of my life. There will always be household tasks left undone, grocery shopping to catch up on, work assignments to turn in, writing goals to achieve, and on and on it goes.

I can't do it all. But - I've come to realize - I can do a little bit towards each goal on a regular basis. This is what I call Evidence of Effort. I may not have done everything that needs to be done, but it should always be clear to myself and anyone else who cares that I have put forth some amount of effort towards the ultimate goal.

The old adage, "slow but sure wins the race" applies here. I may never reach the pinnacle of my own personal Mt. Everest, but you will always see me somewhere on the uphill climb.

Summertime - and the Living is Easy

2008-08-17T16:10:00.002-04:00

I like summertime. I like the freedom of movement it gives me. I like the heat. I like the slightly lower levels of pressure that society seems to put on us to perform at top levels. I like the sunlight that wakes me early and gives a long, glorious day to live my life.

I live in a climate where I get to experience all four seasons fully. I know the heat, but I also know the bitter cold of winter. I've felt 90 degree days. I've seen two feet of snow. I've watched the crocuses bloom and the leaves turn red, orange, yellow and brown. I've seen it all. I enjoy it all. But, more and more, I realize - I love summer.

Summer is the only time when I feel like I'm the boss. There seem to be more hours in the day and more of them are mine to do with as I please. In my heart of hearts, I still play as I did as a child out of school. Everything about this season is a gift. And every year I realize that more and more. Summer always was too short. Lately I've begun to realize just how fleeting it is.

Maybe it's a little like life. The good parts - the really, really good parts - are brief and gone almost before we've realized they have taken place. Summer is like the culmination of all things young and alive and full of energy and life. Other seasons stuggle for birth and growth or wither and struggle to survive before death brings the stark emptiness of winter.

So, while it is mine, I will grasp onto summer with all that I have. It is too long to wait until next year - I want to play and laugh and live in the midst of summer - now.

Power Trips

2008-08-11T20:57:00.002-04:00

Again we have the sad, sad case of a political leader being "caught in the act", so to speak, when his private philandering makes public news.

John Edwards, the squeaky clean, almost perfect, presidential wannabee has joined the ranks of the power driven who think that position and status gives them carte blanche to cheat on their wives. To make matters even more pathetic for the one time knight in shining armor, his wife is terminally ill. Can the man behave like more of a louse? I don't think so.

What is it about the public spotlight and the power (both real and imagined) that comes with public office that leads a person to belittle themselves and humiliate their spouse on an international forum.

Didn't think he would get caught? Give me a break! There is nothing anyone of us on this planet can do or say that cannot be documented, tracked and broadcast to the world if there is anyone at all interested in our whereabouts. No one knows that better than a public official.

Did he think he was too good to honor his commitments and his vows? Maybe so. How does that speak to his ability to maintain honor and honesty to the constituents he claims to serve?

It's time for this politician in wolf's clothing to step down. We must make room for one who answers to a higher calling.

I, too, have been shamed by the behavior of John Edwards. I used to believe he had what it took to go the distance. It saddens me to realize I was a bad judge of character.

Out to Lunch

2008-07-13T17:56:00.003-04:00

Just a note to those of you out there checking InMyVoice. I will be on vacation - a fabulous vacation I must say (Mediterranean Cruise). I will be back in the saddle on July 30th or thereabouts.

I hope all of you have something wonderful to look forward to in your lives as well.

A Case for "To Do" Lists

2008-07-09T21:05:00.003-04:00

We live in a fast-paced, hectic world. No matter what we are doing at any given time, most of us will attest to the fact that we think we should be doing three other things at the same time. Sometimes the mental chaos that ensues is overwhelming, frustrating and downright confusing.

The "To Do" List to the rescue!

Ideally, the "To Do" List exists in a notebook stored in a handy place - desk drawer, purse, kitchen counter. In this notebook are various pages which cover different categories of tasks to be completed - shopping needs, household tasks, car repairs, doctor appointments, phone calls to be made - you get the idea.

Few of us can do everything that enters our mind the minute it first appears there. It only takes a few seconds to add the task to the list - if that "To Do" List is handy.

There is a certain level of satisfaction that comes with checking items off of this list. Maybe it has something to do with feeling in control. As long as we can remember what it is we wanted to accomplish in the first place, we have a better chance of actually seeing success.

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous . . .

2008-07-06T15:16:00.003-04:00

Which is more important? Wealth or notoriety? In today's world, it seems that those two concepts are tied closely together. Fame and fortune go hand in hand. If you make a lot of money the world knows your name. Conversely, if you are notorious, the world will pay money to read all about it.

Sort of sad, don't you think? I'm all for fair payment going to those who work hard, contribute greatly, and make the world a better place. What I don't particularly care for is people trading on their reputation, or the reputation of someone in their family, to make a huge fortune.

If your grandfather was a titan of industry, made a boat load of money, and left you set for life, is that any reason why you don't have to earn a decent living and live life as a respectable member of society?

No one speaks for you or defines your value in this world except you. If anything, the greatness of your ancestors may put a little more pressure on you to succeed. If someone else has blazed a few trails in his or her lifetime, the pathway may be a little less overgrown when you strike out on your own.

I'm tired of the trials and tribulations of the rich and famous. Give me the struggles and small victories of the ordinary person any day of the week.

Ordinary People

2008-07-04T21:42:00.002-04:00

I like regular down-home folks. People who work for a living, and work hard. Often for less than top dollar.

Some of these people aspire to greater things and are simply biding their time waiting for the opportunity, the completion of an education, or some other event to make their next move. Others have found their nitch in this world, they know it, and they are happy there.

We are bombarded with the rich and famous. Sometimes it seems that anybody who is anybody is the greatest example of being an anybody that the world has ever seen. And that's just not so. The progress of the world takes place one day at a time. Progress is made by ordinary individuals, you and me, or at least me, who aren't fabulously wealthy, incredibly intelligent, or beautiful beyond the wildest dreams of anyone's fantasy.

It's a shame, really. The best way to feel inadequate is to compare ourselves against the superficial, fake personalities that accost us from every form of media.

Take a good, hard look at the people you actually know in this world. Some of them are pretty great, maybe far more so than you realize. It would be a shame if that greatness was not realized for what it truly is because they don't fit the "image" of greatness.

Every athlete is not a multi-million dollar star with huge commercial endorsements. Some are the guy at the gym who spends four or five days a week trying to maintain his own personal level of physical fitness while encouraging his children to follow in his footsteps.

Every musician is not a rock star with his smiling face plastered "on the cover of the Rolling Stone." Some are making their own kind of music playing the organ for their church or studying classical music to achieve their own personal best level of accomplishment.

Every writer is not on the New York Times best sellers list. Some are quietly answering their muse on a laptop in their living room, wondering, hoping, that someday someone will think what they have to say is important enough to reach some small corner of the world.

Some ordinary people are simply living their lives. They have no big dreams, no lofty goals that will take a lifetime to achieve. They are content to raise families, work at regular jobs, enjoy friends and family, and pretty much go along their path of this earth enjoying the life they have been given.

Three cheers for ordinary people.

I'm sorry . . .

2008-07-02T22:21:00.002-04:00

The temptation is great, whenever someone we care about is hurting, to provide a shoulder to cry on, unbounded sympathy and an abundance of pity. Having been on the receiving end of excess concern, I feel qualified to say that method is usually not the best way to support your friend or family member.

Whenever I am deeply hurting, and those who care about me know it, the last thing I want is someone to feel sorry for me. I would much prefer for them to share their strength with me, not their pity. I want the person who will stand beside me, silently acknowledge my pain and then show me with their courage and strength that there is still something to live for, look forward to, and put on a brave face.

True concern shows in gestures and facial expressions. It does not need to be effused to the point where the recipient ends up feeling even worse than before.

If you really feel my pain, understand my sorrow, and want to help me carry my load - smile, squeeze my hand, and tell me the story about how your husband got a flat tire on the way to work this morning. You will help me refocus, regroup and find the strength to go on. This is so much better than providing the additional sympathy and pity that pushes my weak, wobbly facade into a puddle of tears and despair.

One Small Change

2008-06-27T20:29:00.004-04:00

I'm a big proponent of progress. I always want to be further ahead this year than I was last year. I want to read the book, write the article, perfect the recipe, complete the coursework, achieve my diet goals, finish the assignment or go on the perfect vacation. I view the path of my life as a series of accomplishments and goals.

I have come to realize that, for the most part, the best way to reach these goals is by starting out with a small change in my behavior. It's amazing how motivating it is to start something with an action that requires a level of commitment on my part.

When I wanted to increase my exercise level I started wearing a pedometer. Just the very act of having something to which I was accountable made me go out of my way to walk more. I wanted to see the number of steps climb. Each day I tried to outdo the day before. Competing with yourself is a great way to stretch yourself.

I wanted to be more in control of my diet. The answer - start writing everything down in a notebook I carry in my purse. It suddenly became much easier to pass up that donut whenever I knew I would have to record it and have it staring me in the face for the rest of the day.

A friend has always wanted to write the "great American novel". Will she achieve her goal - who knows? But she has started to write something every day. The journey of a thousand miles will begin, for her, with a paragraph or a page.

Taken as a whole, most dreams and goals seem insurmountable. Broken down into a series of small, manageable steps, they suddenly become a running list of daily tasks, not overwhelming at all when divided into small chunks.

A career is just a series of days, one after the other, in succession, until the decades have passed and one day it dawns on you that you have completed one of your life's dreams.

What is your goal? Whether it will take a week to accomplish, or a lifetime, there is no better time to start than right now. Make one small change - maybe it will be the beginning of a journey that will take you to your dream or to a place you never dreamed possible. It starts with one small change.

A Tribute to George Carlin

2008-06-23T19:17:00.002-04:00

Throughout my life there has really only been one comedian. His classic routine "A Place for My Stuff" is the greatest commentary on life that I have ever heard.

Today the world must say farewell to George Carlin. We will no longer share his biting view of the world and its inhabitants. I am hard pressed to imagine what comedian could step into those sarcastic, spot-on, shoes and expose the world and those of us who live in it for what we are.

Like Mr. Carlin, I have found myself always searching for a place to put my stuff, a place to put more stuff as I acquire it, and a place to put the stuff I no longer need but will never part with.

The world will be a much more somber place now that we have lost the great George Carlin.

Odd Confessions

2008-06-22T21:11:00.003-04:00

I'm guilty. I think I am in the minority - but I'm certain I am not alone. I confess - I love to grocery shop.

There, I said it. Yes, I'm a foodie. I love to cook. I love to experiment with recipes. I love to peruse the nutrition labels on anything and everything. And this obsession begins in one place - the grocery store.

Some people - probably most people - look at grocery shopping as a chore at best and a torture device at worst. They want to strike and run or, if they are lucky enough, get someone else to do the dirty deed for them.

Not me. I go to the grocery store when I have to. I go when I don't have to go. I go for entertainment. I go for information, comparison shopping or to look for strange new vegetables in the produce department.

I sniff, squeeze, thump, shake and examine. I read, compare, evaluate and critique. I start on one end and head for the other. I retrace my steps two, three, four times, if need be.

If the salmon looks better than I expected, I buy it and then return to the produce department for the right vegetable to accompany dinner. If the red kidney beans are on sale in aisle #6, I put them in my cart and return to the produce department to buy the tomatoes, peppers and onions to make a pot of chili to freeze for future consumption.

I have four or five different grocery stores that I call my own. I buy local. I buy organic. I buy exotic. I buy store brands. If it's new, different, or imported from a foreign land - hey, I'm game!

I am fortunate enough to live in a society where the earth's bounty is mine for the choosing. I rejoice in the opportunity I have to experience so many options. The grocery store is a great place to get a "taste of the world" - literally.

I Object . . .

2008-06-17T19:46:00.004-04:00

The price of gas. Overpopulation. Bad manners. Your job. Your spouse. Your boss. Yours kids. Politics. The world. The neighborhood.

What do you complain about?

The problem with society today is that we've gotten soft. We expect everything to go our way and, when it doesn't, we complain.

"I deserved that promotion."

"I don't like the way this country is being run."

"I wish my spouse behaved differently."

On and on it goes.

To everyone who has a chronic list of complaints against the world around them, let me just ask one question. . .

If you compare your life and circumstances to the population of the world, how do you stack up?

Do you have access to a steady food supply? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have any money?

If you're reading this, you have access to a computer and are educated enough to be able to read and function on the Internet.

Do you have friends, family, a job? Do you have a mode of transportation that's dependable? Do you have more than one change of clothes?

Every time you answer "yes" to one of these questions, your status in the world rises. If you have time to complain at all, your life is not totally consumed with a struggle for survival.

Today, take time out to be grateful. You can go back to complaining tomorrow.

Wisdom of the Ages

2008-06-13T20:11:00.003-04:00

With age comes wisdom - that's a favorite cliche of mine. I live it, breathe it, and generally rejoice in the way it defines my life. Most of the time.

Occasionally, when I see the world and people and the events around me with eyes that are more discerning and able to distinguish ulterior motives - either real or imagined - I long for the words in the Bob Seger song, "Against the Wind" -"Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then . . "

Sometimes it is better to not know what people mean when their words do not match their actions. Sometimes it is better to naively believe that the government has nothing but the best interests of its citizens at heart. Sometimes it is better to believe there is a noble cause behind the critical world events that take place daily.

I couldn't always see beyond the obvious in my youth. Now I see more clearly. Quite frankly, a little narrow-minded color-blindness could come in handy right about now.

The world that always seemed to move forward in a haphazard level of progress that promised a better future for those who could hold on through thick and thin no longer seems quite so resilient. I am not as confident in the promise of the future as I once was. Oh, I'm not worried so much for myself. I have things figured out well enough to survive, cope and accept whatever the inevitable course of history may be. I worry for the future, for the next generation and every one thereafter.

I know, I know. Every generation thought the younger generation was going to "hell in a hand-basket". I'm no different. The wise people of past generations came to the same level of understanding I have reached now. Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe that's the next level of understanding that will come my way.

Let Them See You Sweat!

2008-06-11T21:17:00.003-04:00

When exactly did people stop enjoying the warmth, the heat, the humidity of spring and summer and begin to prefer instead the chilly, dry bite of chronic air-conditioning?

For most of the years of my life, I have lived in houses without central air conditioning. If things got really bad, there was always the window fan to get things moving. But, other than that, we would live our lives and maybe sweat a little once in awhile.

It was great! I love heat!

One of my favorite vacation destinations is Las Vegas - and it's not because of the gambling. It's because of the electricity infused environment - and the heat.

Now, I pretty much have to live twelve months of the year in long sleeves and sweaters. I never leave the house in July or August without a blazer thrown over my arm. I know I will need the warmth when I get out of my car, where I control the climate, and reach my destination, where I don't control the climate, and will, in most likelihood, freeze.

I can't believe I'm the last living human being on the face of the earth to prefer fresh, natural, summer heat to an artificially cooled eco-system.

Summer is far too short not to soak up every bit of heat and warmth. Let's hear it for the lazy, hazy, days of summer! Don't hide from it! Winter will be upon us again before we know it. Let Them See You Sweat!

Prime Real Estate

2008-06-09T21:08:00.003-04:00

At the risk of sounding morbid, let me just say, when I die I want to be cremated. I believe in "ashes to ashes, dust to dust." Just take the powdery remains and fertilize a tree, toss them to the wind, or dispose of them in a landfill somewhere. I don't care.

It's not that I don't have respect for my human body. I do. For my living, human body. On the day when my soul takes flight, there will be no need to hold in high esteem the mortal remains. This vessel that now carries me through my vastly interesting journey in the world will have served its purpose. It does not have to be preserved in a plot of prime real estate somewhere where friends, family and loved ones will either morosely come to pay tribute from time to time or, far more likely, forget I'm there as they continue with their own vastly interesting journey in the world.

That is how it should be. If my place in this world has created a treasured memory for you then, by all means, remember the good times and what I contributed to the world as you know it. If my influence in your life was lacklustre at best, that's okay. I have chosen which memories to treasure from my past as well. Everything wasn't important.

All I know is I don't need a monument, a granite stone, or a bronze marker on a plot of ground. I'm here while I'm here. After that, the ultimate mystery will begin to unravel. In the long run, that part will prove far more valuable to me and to anyone who knew I walked the earth.